There's Beauty in the Breakdown
by Esthetic
Summary: [MaleAkitoxOc]When Mahiru knocks into Haru on the street, something interesting happens. Absolutely nothing. On Akito's orders she moves into the Main House, and they are both forced to come face to face with her past, and his future...REALLY bad sum. R
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, the way I've written it this is gonna be a long story, so you're gonna have to buckle down for the ride. Or you could just stop reading. You're call

Originally it was just gonna be for me, but then I got bored, so even if this gets no reviews or whatever I'll still post it. But please review!

**And in this story, Akito's a guy.**

**There's Beauty in the Breakdown**

Sumimasen- sorry

Mahiru ran down the street, dragging her bag along behind her and not looking where she was going. She stopped for a few seconds and drew a shaky breath, brushing the hair that had escaped from her once tight, perfect bun with one trembling hand. She looked around, then dropped her head and just watched the ground pass under her running feet. She was barely aware of the throb of her ankle anymore. She still felt the horrific heat in her face, spreading down her neck. Other pedestrians gave her a wide berth, staring at her, the girl running down the middle of the sidewalk with a huge bag in a tank top and leggings in the middle of winter. Mahiru didn't even feel the cold, just the insufferable heat that threatened to engulf her. She had ruined it. Her one chance. Her only shot.

Gone. '_Never again'_, she swore to herself _'Never in a million years'. _

Her mind began to replay the events, and she quickly and sharply tuned them out, concentrating on moving her feet faster. Her jog became a desperate and wild sprint as tears leaked from her eyes, blinding her as she tore recklessly through the sidewalk until she suddenly hit something. She almost knew it was inevitable that she would, but it came as a surprise when she finally did. Mahiru felt herself plunge to the ground, and she landed on something softer than concrete. Apparently she hit a person. Mahiru got up and walked away without even looking at anyone, and was ready to begin her rampage again when someone grabbed her arm. She turned around, panicked.

"Did you bump into me back there?" It was a boy, a little younger than her, with the oddest hair, white with black roots. Mahiru wondered idly how he managed to dye it like that.

"Yeah. Sumimasen. I've been having a crappy day. Goodbye." She tried to pull free, but he wouldn't let her. Suddenly she was engulfed in his arms. That seriously got her attention. She struggled and drew away from him. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!"

The boy just stared at her in disbelief, and then looked down at himself. "You…" he looked up at her "What's your name?"

"Pervert…" she muttered, and walked away, once again focusing on her feet. He grabbed her again.

"Please, I just need to know your name."

"…Mahiru."

"Mahiru what?"

"Why the hell should I tell you!" Mahiru, furious now, yanked her arm out of his grip and continued on her charge down the street.

"I'm Hatsuharu Sohma!" he called after her "Please! I just need to talk to you."

She spun around "I'm sorry if I bumped into you, okay?" She turned and began to walk "Wait…" she turned back to him "_Sohma_?"

He looked hopeful "You've heard of us?"

"Your family is one of the most illustrious around here." She bowed meekly. "I apologize. My name is Mahiru Kirihara, Sohma-san."

"Yeah. Anyway. Can you come with me?"

"Um… where?" even if he _was _a Sohma, didn't mean he still couldn't be a pervert, Mahiru thought to herself.

"The Sohma Estate." He looked at her "Seriously."

"Um… I don't think so. Goodbye Sohma-san." Mahiru turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could.

"Mahiru! MAHIRU!" she heard him cry from behind her. She didn't stop running until she reached her building.

-------

Hatsuharu sat in front of Akito, telling him of the afternoon's incident. Akito's eyes widened as the story progressed, and by the end, his mouth simply hung open.

"And you didn't transform?"

"No, Akito-sama. I even hugged her to make sure."

Akito's look turned menacing "Then where is she?"

Haru dropped his eyes "She… wouldn't come."

"And why didn't you _make_ her come?"

"I… I couldn't. She ran away."

"Then why didn't you chase her down and bring her here to me?"

Haru bit his lip, still looking at the floor of Akito's bedroom "I… I am sorry."

"YOU'RE SORRY! YOU STUPID OX! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, LETTING HER GET AWAY! A STUPID, SLOW, DUMB OX! ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE _BROUGHT HER BACK!_ WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU!" Akito screamed, rising to his feet from the window ledge he had been sitting on, his fists clenched at his sides.

"I… I got her name. Mahiru Kirihara."

"Get out."

Hatsuharu scrambled to his feet and ran from the room, unshed tears blurring his vision, startling Hatori, who had been sitting outside, waiting for their meeting to end to tend to Akito. Hatori poked his head in the room, and watched Akito weakly trying to settle himself back onto his seat. Hatori walked in and stood in front of him, waiting for the God to acknowledge his presence. Once Akito had a vaguely comfortable seat, he turned to Hatori.

"What."

"You shouldn't say those things to Haru. He takes it the wrong way."

"What I said was what I meant. Now get out."

Hatori ignored him and opened up his bag, taking out his stethoscope. He looked up to see the God giving him a death glare. He sighed. No matter how weak Akito's body got, he always let you know exactly what he was thinking by his expressions.

"I told you to _get out_."

'_If looks could kill_…' mused Hatori, and continued to set up his equipment. He warmed the stethoscope between his hands and reached out to place it on Akito's chest. His hand was only a few inches away before Akito's voice called him to a complete halt.

"I already told you to GET OUT, DAMN FISH."

Even as Akito's rational doctor, who often took matters into his own hands when it concerned the God's health, Hatori could not ignore a serious direct order.

"At least go to bed, you know these meetings tire you out."

"Yes, I know that. Better than you do." Akito replied with more than a hint of menace in his voice "I'll do whatever the fuck I want to. It's my life, however short."

Hatori stuffed his things back into bed. There was no arguing with Akito when he was like that. He left, about to turn back when he heard Akito cough hoarsely into his hand, but felt the God's eyes glaring at his beck. Hatori sighed and closed the door to his master's room.

-------

Mahiru stumbled into her apartment, her limp more pronounced after the seven flights of stairs she had to go up to get there. "Konnichiwa, Hisa." She said listlessly to one of her roommates. "Where are Rini-chan, Takara-chan, and Kameko-san?"

"Work. I just got off." Hisa turned to look at her friend "What happened to you? You look like shit."

"I don't want to talk about it." Mahiru mulled over what she could safely say "But the weirdest thing happened to me while I was coming home. I bumped into this guy, and he turned out to be a Sohma…"

"A who?"

"A SOHMA. You know… they have that huge estate downtown."

"Oh… how do you know?"

"Well, he told me his name."

"Not _that_… how do you know who the Sohma's are? For super rich people they sure keep a low profile."

"I used to have a job cleaning one of their buildings. Anyway… so he bumped into me, then he chased me and _hugged _me, then tried to convince me to go home with him!"

"…and why didn't you?" Hisa said suggestively, waggling her eyebrows at Mahiru "He sounds rich."

"Oh shush."

"But seriously, that sounds weird."

"OH MY GOD!"

"Mahiru? What is it!"

"I… I told him my name!"

"What! You… why… RAPISTS!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"YES, Mahiru, we've established that."

"NO! I'm going to be late for work!" With that Mahiru dashed over to the room that she, Hisa, and Rini-chan shared and threw on her work clothes, putting her hair into a high, tight ponytail, and ignoring the pain in her ankle. '_I can take it_' she told herself '_After all, I'm a…_' there she let her thoughts trail off, after the afternoon's events, she never would be again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! How are you! Anyway. **

**Thank you veeeeeeery much for reading this, and if you reviewed, lemme tell ya, you made my life. Uh… Haru might be a tad OOC, maybe a little in this chapter and in a bit later on, but hopefully he'll obey me at a later point **XD

**Um… I really hope you enjoy Chapter 2!**

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Akito wanted Hatori. He wanted Hatori _now._ The doctor always seemed to show up whenever Akito didn't want him, and now that he did, Hatori was nowhere to be seen. Akito crossed his arms and pondered what he should do. He could go look for Hatori, but then again, he shouldn't have to, Hatori should be there when he wanted him. He could send a servant to find Hatori, but then they would probably have a very interesting conversation when the servant found him, probably pertaining to Akito, and the God didn't like that idea. He could sit here and wait…

Nah.

While Akito was pondering, he coughed idly in to his hand, and cleared his throat. Then he inhaled- only to be cut short by another cough. Akito knew the pattern of this. It happened to him so often. So without panic or confusion, as most people have when having a cough attack, trying to gasp for air and swallow, Akito let the coughs wrack his delicate body, only slightly surprised when he tasted blood in his mouth. He spit it out onto the floor. The coughs slowly subsided, giving him time to spit out more of the blood, and take a few shaky breaths.

"Akito?" Ah. So there was the doctor. "You should have let me examine you before. Or at least gone to bed as I asked you to." '_Who the hell does he think he is!'_ "…And I know you're probably thinking 'who the hell does he think he is?' but Akito, for your own good…" Akito hated it when he did that.

Hatori was still droning on. "I wanted…" Akito paused to take a ragged breath "To talk to you."

"About what?"

"The…" Again he paused "Girl that Hatsu… haru saw today." Hatori simply nodded, afraid of what was to come, but not daring to interrupt. "I want her… here."

"Akito…" Hatori didn't know what do say, but he knew not all people would respond to the Sohma family as well as Tohru Honda, and a random stranger might be terrified into doing something drastic.

Akito narrowed his eyes "It is not your place to disagree with me." Hatori was always surprised at Akito's quick changes in condition whenever he felt strongly on a point. Unfortunately, the strongest emotion he ever felt was anger. These brief periods of strength always had their repercussions later, but during them, Akito could be lethal. Hatori quickly scanned the room for things which Akito could throw at him. The only things he could see as movable were some vases, and they were on a table on the other side of the room. Even with his extra surge of strength, Akito could not possibly beat Hatori to them if he decided to make a break for it. Of course Akito might just hit him…

Hatori tried to phrase his concerns in the best possible way "Akito… this girl might be scared if we seek her out. She might contact the police, thinking we're stalking her. We can't have the police in here, or they might see some things we would rather keep hidden."

Akito turned his head and looked out the window "Let them come."

Hatori sighed and massaged his temples. He really needed a smoke. "If they came, they would undoubtedly look around a little too much." He looked up and met Akito's gaze unblinkingly "Do you honestly think they wouldn't put you in a hospital? The only reason you're not in one now is because no one on the Outside knows how serious your condition is, and because we make generous 'donations' to our medical suppliers. Normal households are not allowed to have Morphine, Oxygen tanks, and Skeletal Muscle Relaxers without permits from Doctors, and they're always checked up on."

"Perhaps I'd be better off in a hospital than here with _you_." Akito glared at the insolent dragon "I know you want me dead."

"I want no such thing, Akito." Hatori said gently, softening. He knew from the look in the God's eyes that Akito was not trying to win, but it was what he truly felt.

"I'm already ill, yet you insist on giving me your 'medicines' that make me feel worse. Why should I trust you?"

Again Hatori felt the jab of Nicotine depravation "Would you trust some strangers who would find no reason for your illnesses that they can explain, and then would try to test you, more?"

Akito slumped again "Just bring her here." Hatori knew he was being dismissed and stood.

"I will be back in twenty minutes to tend to you. And if you don't comply then I'll bring servants with me to hold you down." He exited swiftly before Akito could gather enough breath to reply.

Hatori walked quickly through the Sohma estate until he found Haru's house. He knocked, but heard no answer. Sighing, he let himself in went up to Haru's room, where he found the Ox sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He looked at Hatori when he heard him come in, then back at the ceiling.

"Akito was right. I should have brought her back here."

Hatori seated himself at Haru's desk. "Yes, then she would have thought we were kidnapping her and called the police. Then there would have been an investigation on Sohma property. You did the right thing. I just need to know the girl's name."

Haru still stared pointedly at the ceiling "Kirihara… Mahiru Kirihara." Haru turned to face Hatori "Why?"

"Akito." Hatori gave Haru a strained smile, then left, walking through the estate, then leaned against the main house and lit a cigarette.

---------

Mahiru had to stop and rest halfway up the stairs. She had been at work for the last 5 hours. The late shift was always _so much fun_. She finally made it to her apartment and shut the door with a sigh. Then walked straight towards the bedroom.

"Mahiru."

She stopped when she heard her name, and turned, impatiently scraping the used take-out carton off her shoes with the table. "Oh… Kameko-san. I'm sorry if I woke you." The oldest of Mahiru's roommates, Kameko Ijyuin felt it was an insult to her personally that she had to sleep on a couch. Mahiru had offered her bed many times to the older girl, Kameko always refused. Secretly the other girls thought she just wanted something to complain about. Mahiru didn't think that the couch was too bad, and Takara-chan slept on the floor. It was only a one bedroom apartment, with no real kitchen and five people sharing it.

"It's fine. I can hardly sleep on this table anyway." Kameko sighed dramatically.

"Anyway… some guys in suits left that for you while you were at work." She motioned to a letter by Takara's sleeping bag on the floor. Takara worked all night. She was an 'Exotic Dancer.'

Mahiru looked at the letter and picked it up. 'Kirihara, Mahiru' was written on the front of the envelope in big block letters. She opened it and read the message.

'_Kirihara-san._

_The honorable house of Sohma requests your presence_

_Tomorrow at 1 p.m. at their main estate.'_

That was it. There wasn't even an RSVP number; they just assumed she would go. Mahiru knew there was never a chance she would have turned them down.

---------

Mahiru stood in front of the gates of the Sohma Estate at 1:00, clutching the letter to her chest. Kameko-san had snorted at her outfit, telling her that she would have to do better than that to impress the Sohmas. Mahiru looked down at her barely casual black skirt and sleeveless white button down shirt she wore to work. She was beginning to think Kameko-san was right, but along with her old black coat, it was the best outfit she owned. She took a deep breath, and pressed the button on the intercom by the gates. "Uh… hello Guard-samas. I'm Mahiru. Uh… Mahiru Kirihara. I was given this letter… well actually it was given to Kameko-san but she gave it to me…" She jumped and yelped a little bit when the gates opened, took another deep breath, squared her shoulders, and walked in, giving the guard's station a timid wave. The man sitting there looked incredulous when he saw her acknowledgement. '_Maybe I'm not supposed to notice the hired help?_' As hired help herself, Mahiru knew too well what it was like to be ignored in a roomful of people. She suddenly realized, as she walked up the path, that she had _no idea_ where she was going. At all. She thought there would just be one big mansion, but apparently that wasn't the case. She glanced around nervously, and then stopped as the path in front of her branched into two smaller paths. Her heart beat frantically and she tried to keep breathing.

"Hello."

Mahiru screamed and whipped around, where she came face to face with a very surprised Hatsuharu Sohma. "I'm sorry for scaring you." He paused for a moment, and then said thoughtfully "For yesterday and just now. I apologize." He gave her a slight bow.

"I…uh… you have a lovely home Sohma-sama." Mahiru fudged and bowed deeply. When she looked up he was smiling.

"Just call me Haru."

"Haru…san?" She questioned meekly.

He smiled at her again, and then led her (with some trial and error) through the winding paths and extraordinary gardens to the main house. Mahiru gasped when she realized the giant house in front of her was their destination. It seemed slightly foreboding, and her stomach clenched, making it hard for her to breath. The vegetation, dying in the winter frost, seemed to agree with her. She cast an uneasy glance at Haru, who returned it. Once there, he was reluctant to let her go in. She seemed nice enough, and he didn't want to expose her to Akito alone.

---------

Akito watched the girl through his window. She wasn't _quite_ as ugly as the Honda bitch. But she was still far from pretty. She had long straight hair, cut straight, with no angles or bangs. Quite plain. Akito chuckled to himself. Really, the way her hair hung around her face make her head look long. Rather like a lizard. Or a goat. There was nothing extraordinary about this girl. Akito scowled as Hatori went out to meet them and shook hands with the girl, who looked quite flustered. His scowl deepened when he saw the brief conversation the two Jyuunishi had, both with concerned expressions, and they glanced up at his window often, though never long enough to see him spying. They went inside, and Akito opened his shoji doors and then stepped outside and lowered himself onto the ground in the brisk afternoon sun. They would come to him when she knew.

**Sorry, it's me again. Um… If your reading this it probably meant you read this chapter, and that makes me totally love you. If you have any constructive criticism, _PLEASE_ share. Or just boost my confidence. Your call :P Thanks!**

**Esthetic**


	3. Chapter 3

**Helloooo again! If you're reading this, well, then, I like you a lot. Uh… Just letting you know, constructive criticism is welcome, just in a nice way please :) **

**Also, I just came back from 'The Da Vinci Code', the movie. It was really good, so ignore the critics. Well at least I thought it was, anyway.**

**OMG my bf Mike and I are going to a H.I.M. concert! Eventually!**

**So yeah, I'm not going to bore you with my life as a New York teenager any further. **

-------

Mahiru gulped, her tea forgotten, frozen halfway to her mouth. "…but…that's…well…."

The man named Hatori-sama smiled kindly at her "Impossible?"

"…Yeah." She remembered her tea and put it down, her mind spinning. '_The Chinese zodiac?_' She vaguely remembered her mother telling her stories about them, but that had been years ago.

"Let me demonstrate." Haru-san got up and beckoned to the female servant who had been standing in the corner, refilling their tea when needed. She walked over and hesitantly held out her arms. Haru hugged her, and felt the change come over him.

Mahiru stared. Haru-san had just become a cow. He looked at her. Yup, those were defiantly Haru-san's eyes. "So…I'm not on Candid Camera?"

"Nope." Said the cow.

Mahiru looked at him for a moment, and then at Hatori, who was looking at her gravely.

Then she looked back at the cow.

"Cow-san?"

"…Technically, I'm the Ox."

"I apologize!" Mahiru stood and bowed to him "if that was disrespectful, I mean."

"No, it's fine." Haru looked quizzically at Hatori, if a cow can look quizzical.

"Uh… Ox Haru-san?" Mahiru said shyly, looking down.

"Yes?"

"Well… it's just…" suddenly Mahiru launched herself onto him "YOU'RE SO CUTE!" She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. "Cows… I mean Oxen of course…

ARE SO CUTE OMIGOSH YOU'RE ADORABLE!"

Suddenly there was a poofing sound, and Mahiru was left hugging a very naked Haru.

"I'M SO SORRY I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT!" she closed her eyes and turned away.

"It's okay, I'm dressed now."

She turned around again to see a very surprised looking Haru, and a highly confused looking Hatori. "So… why doesn't it work with me?" She looked from one to the other, while they just shrugged "Wait, am I some kind of freak? Is there something wrong with me? Omigod, am I even human!"

Hatori was gaping at her. "We turn into animals when hugged, and you're worried that _you're _the abnormal one!"

"I'm sorry, Hatori-sama."

Haru-san chuckled. "She kind of reminds me of Ritsu, apologizing for everything."

"I'm sorry… I mean, I know. I'm told I do that when I'm nervous. Not that you make me nervous. In fact I'm not nervous at all…" Mahiru stopped herself and took a deep breath "So what are the rest of you like?"

-------

Akito was angry. They were keeping him waiting. It had been a long time, and he felt the cold that had been just a light breeze seep through him, trying to freeze his anger. HOW DARE IT! He had decided what to do with the girl. She was to live on the estate and break the curse. And if she couldn't? Well, hopefully if she couldn't do that, then at least the Jyuunishi might come to see her often. It would be like having his very own Tohru Honda, attracting the Jyuunishi to him. He would just have to keep her on a very short leash. Perhaps the lost animals, the Rat and the Monster, would like her even better than the bitch, and maybe even come back home to be with her. She was just like Honda, an ugly girl, except perhaps she had business with his family. The Honda girl just intruded. And _this _one he would be able to control. Akito grinned sadistically to himself.

-------

Hatori stopped abruptly from his explanation of what exactly it was that made Hiro so intolerable. He looked at Haru. "Akito will want to know what is going on, and the longer we make him wait, the longer he'll have to stew."

Mahiru noticed the Ox's worried expression "Who's Akito?" she asked tentatively, wondering if it was something she could safely ask.

Haru-san looked at her solemnly "He's the head of the family."

"Oh. So am I supposed to meet Sohma-sama? Is it okay to call him that?" Mahiru looked from one Sohma to the other. Then she hung her head "And no I don't usually act like this. Just when I'm nervous." She giggled a little "My roommates think I'm almost impossible to live with. Especially Kameko-san. I don't think she likes me very much. I'm told that when I'm nervous I act a lot like Takara-chan. She's another one of my roommates. When we needed someone else to live with us because of the rent, she came in and was really shy and nice and apologized a lot. That's because she's a… well… a stripper, and people are usually mean, degrading, or inappropriate when they hear that, but she's really great when you get to know her." Mahiru stopped and breathed again. "Sorry."

Hatori-sama grinned "Definitely like Ritsu."

Haru-san was still looking at her with a puzzled expression, though. "Just how many roommates do you have?"

"Um…" Mahiru really didn't want to explain the matter of her extremely low finances with these two men. Even if they were extremely nice men. Men who shared had shared their secret with her… "Four. We have an apartment."

"And how many rooms does this apartment have?" Hatori inquired, brows furrowing.

"Well…" Mahiru blushed "Two. And the bathroom's right across the hall. Me and Rini-chan and Hisa-chan share the bedroom. In separate beds, though. Kameko-san sleeps on the couch in the other room and Takara-chan sleeps on the floor."

"Do you have a job?" Hatori-sama was frowning now.

"Yeah, I work at the Thai restaurant down the street."

"Do you go to school?" Mahiru found the tall man's questioning slightly uncomfortable.

"No… I dropped out a little less than two months ago. I had… other plans for my future." She dropped her head again. "I guess I should go back though."

Hatori didn't pry any further. He simply continued in his explanation about the other Zodiac members.

-------

Akito could no longer feel his body. It had gotten very cold. He had huddled into himself, lying on the ground, when he realized he had stayed out too long, and no longer had the strength to stand and walk back inside. Now, as the cold beat down on him, the pain medication he was constantly on could not fight back the agony he felt in his stomach, and in all his joints. Now he didn't just lack the strength to move, but he also the will, knowing that any motion would just cause the horrible grating sensation his bones produced when they shifted. He prayed that he just die here, as it was too horrific to bear. When he realized what he had just done, he almost laughed to himself, but better not to waste his breath. He had just _prayed_. To who? Himself? If it had been up to him, Akito would have had himself dead years ago, as soon as he had been too ill to stand on his own for the first time, back on his ninth birthday. His condition had only worsened since then. But he knew that he would never kill himself. He would continue to live, as long as possible, as long as this dying, frail, brittle shell he called his body could possibly support him. Every time a new Sohma baby was born, Akito felt a small rush of pride. Because he was alive, that child would be able to grow up. Because he _refused_ to die right now, the baby he knew the Ram's mother was heavy with would be able to go outside and run, as he had never been able to. So, as he saw it, all the Sohma's owed their lives to him. Not only did he keep their children, the Jyuunishi, alive with his life force, but because he had been born when he was, and because he carried on living, they were all happy. They were all indebted to him, each one of them could have been born with the suffering he faced everyday, but he saved them from it. He was their God, and he would not pass on his burden just yet. They _belonged_ to him. What did the Honda bitch ever do for them? Nothing. He had given them their lives. Little Yuki and Kyo… So close in age to him. Yet still running free, as he would never be able to do. All he could do was order people to do his bidding. And so he would continue to do, ordering Kyo's confinement and the punishment he was planning for Yuki, even if it was with his last rasping breath, which he knew would come soon. Akito had been told that they did not understand his fascination with them. In fact it was that the Rat and the Monster were so close in age to him. They did not know how very close they had come to being there… An infirm huddle on the ground in the cold. That brought him back to the present. His breaths were coming harder now, barely coming at all, and the physical anguish of his soon-to-be corpse was overwhelming him…

'_**WHERE THE HELL IS HATORI?'**_

-------

Hatori almost choked on his tea with surprise when his cell phone rang. "Excuse me," he told Mahiru "This will only take a second."

She heard some incoherent shouting explode from his phone for a few seconds, and then he snapped it shut.

"It seems Hiro's mother is in a lot of pain at the moment, I'd better go check on her. I'm terribly sorry." He looked pointedly at Haru "You can give her the… er… approved tour?"

"What…" Haru was confused, and then Hatori gave him the look that seemed to say 'BEWARE OF AKITO' that only the Jyuunishi can achieve. "Oooh… sure. Come on Mahiru, it's a great house." And with that, Mahiru gathered her coat into her arms, and both groups left the tea room.

-------

Mahiru followed Haru-san out of the tea room and into a hallway. The house was _huge_. She gaped. "My apartment would fit as least eight times over in here…"

Haru-san turned and smiled at her "And only one person really lives here. Haa-san stays here sometimes, and there are always servants here, but mostly it's just Akito-sama."

"Aw… that's sure to get lonely. And slightly creepy, especially this house is just so damn big." Mahriu spun in the hallway, laughing. She stopped when she saw he looked slightly uncomfortable "Are you okay, Haru-san?"

"…I think I drank too much tea. I'm gonna use the bathroom. You can look around if you want, but if there's someone in a room already, don't go in, even if they're screaming bloody murder. Knock on every door before you go in, even if the door's open, and even if someone tells you to come in, ignore them. Got it?"

"Uh… sure. No human contact. Got it." Mahiru was slightly confused, but shrugged it off as Haru-san disappeared around a corner. She went skipping down a hallway, when suddenly she felt a draft. She turned and found a closed door. Remembering Haru-san's rule, she knocked loudly, twice, and up on receiving no answer, opened the door. There was a chill in the room, nothing too bad, but if left alone with the door closed could make the room freezing for hours. She noticed the room was spacious, although sparsely furnished. It smelled of the cold night air and slightly of rubbing alcohol, and that smell that high fevers always seem to leave in a room, a sickly sweet odor that invades everything and makes you want to retch or leave as soon as possible

Wait…

_**Night air?**_

She looked out through the shoji doors that were thrown open wide and were allowing the frosty air in. Yup. It was night. She had been there for hours, and what's worse, probably lost her job for not showing up. She sighed and walked across the room, intent on closing the shoji doors. She took in the large comfortable looking white bed, plain white walls, and night tables, filled with expensive looking vases overflowing with flowers, although they did nothing to make the room more homey. Mahiru distracted herself from the smell by making plans to make the room more hospitable. A white plush carpet on the floor, and a large, overstuffed armchair right by the bed, with a matching sofa opposite it. Then, by the shoji doors, a stone fireplace, which would keep out winter drafts…

Mahiru had reached the other side of the room, and looked out at the night, taking a breath of fresh air, and observing the garden that lay at her feet. She jumped slightly, hearing a soft whimper cut off quickly by a weak, mangled cough, and then a few jagged, grating breaths. Remembering Haru-san's instructions about human contact, she found herself in a dilemma for a little while, but when the whimper returned, this time piteously full of pain, she cast her eyes around for the source of the noise, but couldn't see anything in the dark. She stepped farther into the garden, squinting until she found a shape huddled on the ground less than a foot from her. She bent down and looked at it. It looked like a boy. A young boy curled up on the ground, unable to breathe.

She stood and turned "HARU-SAN!" she shrieked through the house, then crouched down again, took off her coat, and put it over the shape like a blanket. She twisted awkwardly "HARU-SAN!" she called again, and looked down again at the boy, hands fluttering awkwardly above him, not sure what to do.

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Hatori stepped out of the Main House. The girl, Mahiru, seemed nice enough. She had taken to the curse even better than Honda-san. She was hiding something from them, however. Of that much he was sure. He sighed and hugged himself against the brisk autumn air and checked his watch. It was 7:30. He continued down the path, humming softly to himself. He stopped abruptly, then turned and ran back to the Main House as fast as he could with one gasping word: "Akito!"

The God's medication had definitely worn off, and Hatori had completely forgotten about checking up on him. He hadn't thought it was so late…

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**Yay, wasn't that fun? Um… I'm trying to be more descriptive, but I already wrote this story, I'm currently on page 30, so it's hard to go back and change stuff, but I'm trying! Really!**

**So… yeah. Review now and I'll let you hug my penguin named Cherub. He's really cute :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's me… back again. If you're reading this, I like you a lot. **

**Okay, just some thank you's…**

**White Alchemist Taya: You are gorgeous and I love you, and yes I'm a New Yorker so gorgeous and tremendous and luscious are used frequently in my daily life. But seriously, yay you!**

**Amara Corbin: Um… go you, amazingly. Thank you so much for all your nice reviews, especially because I'm reading Beyond the Darkness (which you need to update btw) and I think you're REALLY talented**

**Mystrivin: Hi again! I don't have MSN messenger, so sorry, but I think our system works pretty well now :) Thank you for all your constructive criticism, and I know that you have enough stuff for a flame, but I'm really glad you're such a great person to be really nice about it and TYYY!**

**And a reply to Starskysea: Um… no… why?**

**Please enjoy**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

Mahiru was chewing on her lip, still uncertain about what to do, she turned again, ready to scream for Haru-san again when Hatori-sama burst through the door of the room, spotted her, and dashed to her side, turned the boy over and checked his pulse.

"He… he's alive" Mahiru offered timidly, aware suddenly that she should have done something. "He was whimpering a little while ago."

Hatori-sama gave her a small, strained smile, then picked the young boy in his arms and stood. Mahiru saw that, in fact, this boy was a man, of about twenty. She thought he was younger simply because he was so thin that he had squeezed himself into a tiny ball. She looked at the young man piteously. The fever-smelling room must be his. His wasted arm, so devoid looking of any kind of strength, looked like it would never be able to holy up the wizened hand attached to it. Hatori-san brought the boy into the room, but then seemed to reconsider in the cold. He carried the boy out into the warmer hallway and up a grand staircase to a room a little bit like what Mahiru had planned for the first room, except that it was filled almost to the brim with medical equipment. She followed them through the house, wringing her hands, always on the verge of apologizing for not doing anything when she found him. When Hatori put the man down, she wandered hesitantly into the room, completely ignored except when a group of nurses brushed past her, slowly shoving her farther back until she was in the hallway again.

"Mahiru-san!" she turned to find Haru-san taking the stairs two at a time, running up to meet her.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried, grabbing the front of his shirt "I felt a draft, and I went in to the room to close the shoji doors… and then I saw him and I put my coat over him but I didn't do anything else and I should've because OMIGOSH WHAT IF HE DIES!"

Haru sighed and hugged the girl clinging to him to his chest and closed his eyes. It felt so good to do that. Just hug a girl, some random girl with no relation to him, crying, and he could comfort her. He held her firmly until her sobbing slowed. He then sat down on the floor in the middle of the hallway, and pulled her down with him.

"That's Akito-sama. He's the Head of our family."

"But… he can't be more than twenty!"

"He's not. He'll be twenty in a few months. But that's how it works. We're all possessed by the vengeful spirits of the Zodiac, and he's, well, he's God. The God that calls the banquet in the beginning of the story. Following?"

Mahiru nodded, and then shook her head "God… just to you? Or to everyone else too? Like when I pray, does the prayer go to him?"

Haru-san smiled "No. Just to the Jyuunishi. To everyone else he's just an over-glorified feverish young man. But to us, he's everything." He looked down at the floor. "He does, well, _horrible_ things to us. Tries to keep us here, he wants us to just be here and adore him, spending all of our time with him, seeing no one but him." He met Mahiru's eyes.

She looked aghast "That's horrible! He… I don't understand."

"The reason he's so sick is because of us. That's what the God of Jyuunishi does. He supplies the power that it takes for us to transform; he's the one who keeps us bonded. Of course, since he's really just human, he has to supply this from his, I guess it would be his _life force_. For us to be alive, he needs to be dying." At this he wrenched his eyes away from the girl sitting across from him, hanging on his every word "And he is. We've never had a God live past about 27. And now because some of us live on the "Outside," away from this Estate, it's harder for Akito-sama to keep our bond strong, and takes more energy." He sighed and drew little swirls on the wood floor "But we can't hate him. I don't know why. Sometimes I think he wants to make us hate him, but we can't. Even when he locked up Yuki, he's the Rat, in solitary confinement and beat him, no one could hate him. Yuki doesn't even hate him. I'm sure he wants to, but you just can't. Maybe because he's God. Maybe because we pity him. Maybe because we're grateful for our lives. But no matter what, in spite of everything, we love him." Haru looked up at Mahiru "I guess that sounds really screwed up."

"Oh, no. He's your family, right? You can never truly hate family."

Haru-san chuckled slightly and the tension was broken "You should have seen your face when the Nurse Brigade broke in. They live here in shifts. It's a full time job taking care of him. But when you got pushed out of the room" Haru-san stopped to laugh.

"Hey, I don't think it was _quite_ that funny." Mahiru pouted at him, and then stood. "I should probably go home. It was really nice meeting you, even if I did lose my job." She began to walk, and then turned around "Hey, Haru-san? Am I supposed to stay here? I mean, now that I learned about the curse? Or… yeah, what now? I know about the curse, so do I just leave?"

"I don't know, Akito-sama is the one who makes those decisions."

They both turned to the sound of Hatori opening the door to Akito's room, still talking to one of the nurses. "Yes, thank you Noriko, that dosage is fine, we don't want it to be too strong for him to handle." He closed the door and turned to face the two teenagers. He looked tired, but relieved, and turned his attention to Mahiru "Akito is refusing serious treatment until he has a talk with you, Mahiru-chan."

Mahiru blushed, pleased that he liked her well enough to call her 'chan' in the space of one day. But then her blush faded and she looked quizzical "Why does he want to talk to me?"

"I don't know, but that's all we could get out of him. Try to keep your conversation short, and lean close, he can't talk very well, and I don't want him to have to strain himself repeating things." '_Cigarette time again_' Hatori thought to himself, letting a flustered Mahiru into the room. The nurses still bustled around, constantly checking charts, readouts, reflexes, and comfort. The God lay propped up on pillows in a bed, covered in blankets that twisted around his thin legs. Tubes were stuck into his reedy wrists, and an oxygen mask covered his nose and mouth. A little case enclosed one of his fingers, it's tail of a wire connecting the young man to a machine beeping slowly, but steadily.

"Can he even _talk_?" Mahiru whispered to Hatori, who was slowly pushing her forward.

"He can do anything when he puts his mind to it." Hatori replied grimly, insistently pushing her to the bedside, and then nodding his encouragement as he swept the nurses out of the room. "Quickly." He reminded her as he exited the room and shut the door behind him.

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Mahiru gulped. She was terrified. The only things in the room were her, the ailing God, and that annoying beeping noise. "Uhm… Aki—I mean Sohma-sama?" He didn't move. _'Omigosh, what if he dies right now while I'm sitting here! That would suck. No, but he's not dead. He's still alive. The beeping is his heartbeat._' She tentatively raised one of her hands and placed it on one of his, gently, afraid she might break it. "Sohma-sama!" she said, louder this time, and right into his ear. It seemed to take him a century open his eyes. Mahiru gasped '_wow. His eyes are completely gorgeous!_' she looked at them closer, and then seeing that they were extremely glazed, she thought she'd better hurry the meeting up. "You wanted to speak to me?" she spoke slowly and loudly. Suddenly his hand twitched under hers, causing her to jump. His eyes were still staring straight at the ceiling. She could see his jaw working under the oxygen mask, which she quickly pulled down under his chin, freeing his mouth "Sorry, I didn't quite get that." She leaned her head closer to him, making sure she could still see his mouth, so if she couldn't hear him, maybe she would be able to grasp his meaning from the way his mouth moved.

"You…" he said in a slight, wavering voice. That seemed all he could manage before he was gasping for air. Mahiru quickly replaced the oxygen mask, and he calmed, his eyes closing. She removed it again "You… stay." She put the mask back on him.

"Stay where? In here? You need treatment Sohma-sama."

She returned the mask to his chin, letting him speak once again. "No… stay in house. Move in…here."

"Wha…What!" Mahiru stood and backed slowly towards the door. At that moment, Hatori walked on, looking at the stunned expression on the girl's face, he turned, sighing to the God.

"We've only just met her Akito, don't scare her off." Hatori put the mask back on him, but not before catching the beginnings of a smirk on Akito's face. He turned back to the frightened teenager "What did he say to you, Mahiru-chan?" he asked her.

"He… he said that I should move in. _Here._" Mahiru shook her head. "But he couldn't have meant that, could he? I mean, he's sick, he doesn't know what he's saying."

"Akito's word is law, at least to us. Will you move in?" Hatori pointedly didn't look at the girl, checking all the tubes on the young man's body.

"Um, well, I mean, uh, I mean I guess that's okay…" Mahiru waited for reality to catch up with her "Um, I can't pay very high rent…"

Hatori turned to her, smiling "I'm afraid that's not possible. If you moved in here, you would have all the benefits of one of the Sohma family. You would not pay rent, or for school tuition and you would receive an allowance every month to spend how you will."

She gaped at him "NO! I couldn't possibly do that!"

"It's what Akito wants. Do you want to go against God?"

Mahiru let a huge grin light up her face "Well, I guess not. My mother always told me 'when someone offers you free money, go with it, as long as you keep your dignity.' I guess this counts. I mean, I'm not prostituting or anything." Her grin widened even more "I guess I'll move in. And go back to school. I'm gonna go home and pack. I'll be back in… well… I have absolutely nothing! So I'll be back in less than an hour." Mahiru bowed and ducked quickly from the room.

Haru called his farewell to her as she ran down the stairs. "Haa-san, what the _hell_ is going on?"

"Well, apparently, we have a new member of the household."

"And you're just going to _allow_ that! What does Akito want her for! What if he hurts her? Why didn't you say something?"

Hatori met the glare of the Ox with matching menace "Because if I acted scared or concerned, so would she. Akito won't be able to do her any harm while he's stuck up here in bed. While he's incapacitated we'll introduce her to the rest of the Zodiac and make her feel welcomed and then when he makes her feel horrible or hurts her later she'll run to you and me, and not the authorities." He whispered with his voice full of urgency.

"Oh. You have this all thought out, don'tcha." Haru replied quietly. Hatori just smiled and ushered the nurses back in.

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**And OMG I'm going to Ozzfest, which btw took over Warped's venue so ARG but Yay! Look for me; I'll be the one in black :)**

**And now you must review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Me again, aren't you happy? It's glorious, I know. Um… nothing special in my life. Yours? Ooh actually I'm going to Boston for the weekend, so yay go me. I'm gonna try a Boston Crème Doughnut there, and see if they're any better than the ones here. I doubt it. Anyway, so yay go me and my BFF Becca, who's going with me. Just thought I'd post this before I left.**

**Oh, and ty is thank you... I'm really**** sorry about that.**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

Mahiru skipped all the way back to her apartment, not even having to pause on the stairs, which felt interminable most of the time. She let herself in and twirled, almost falling when she found all four of her roommates staring at her. "What are you guys all doing home at one time?" She found she was slightly breathless.

"I'm just about to go out," Takara-chan wore a knee length black coat that Mahiru knew covered up her work 'clothes'. "Are you okay?"

Mahiru felt a pang. Her friends needed her portion of the rent to keep renting this place.

"I think she's just an ugly moron." Kameko-san said languidly from her position spread out on the couch.

The pang disappeared. "I'm leaving. Moving out. I found some… long lost relations." Mahiru was fudging it. Badly. The others could see that. She looked to Hisa-chan "That's why that Sohma guy was so interested me. Turns out that…uh… my grandma's sister was married to this Sohma and they had kids and then you know they were cousins to my mom so of course we're related."

Hisa-chan shook her head "All I got was that that Sohma guy who stopped you was for real."

"And anyway, they've been looking for me. How _Little Princess_ is that? I'm moving into the Sohma Main House. So… uh… bye." She started towards her room, but then stopped "I'm really sorry you guys. I know you need my rent money."

"You inconsiderate bitch…" Kameko-san stood and started towards Mahiru, but was stopped by Takara-chan clearing her throat.

"Actually, I know a girl who works with me who's looking for a place to stay. I'm sure she'd be willing to take your place here. Well, not take your place, we'll always be friends, even when you're rich and have your own bathroom." Takara smiled at Mahiru, and gave her a look that said 'ignore Kameko. I do.'

"Oh great. A house full of whores. It's bad enough having you here you disgusting fugly dyke" The oldest of the lot snorted to Takara.

"Oh, that's right Kameko-san. We're kicking you out. Sorry we didn't tell you about it earlier, but that reminded us. We've been looking for people to replace you for a while, but we finally found one. Sorry we didn't tell you about it, Mahiru-chan." Rini called from across the room. "It was gonna be your birthday present."

Mahiru laughed "No problem. Bye bye Kameko-san." She skipped to the room and threw everything she owned into her a backpack. Her clothes, a loved… well, raggedy teddy bear, her secret cash hoard, housed in a sock, a couple pairs of earrings, her nail polish collection, sneakers, some cheap flip flops, and her bedspread, sheets and pillow. Out of her pillowcase she extracted a picture in a tarnished frame, showing a very happy looking woman and a despondent man, both young and slim, the man holding an elated toddler girl with pigtails, and the woman holding a sleeping baby boy. The park behind them shimmered in the summer sunlight. Mahiru stared at the picture for a while, then carefully wrapped it in her quilt and placed it at the top of the large black bag she had been carrying when she met Haru that first day. This bag had held everything that she had held dear before that day. She sighed and hoisted it over the shoulder that wasn't holding everything else and then walked out into the apartment's other room. "Well guys, Sayonara. I'll call and visit and stuff. I left you three bottles of blue glitter nail polish and a couple of hair ties and lots of dust." Mahiru grinned, and then rushed into the arms of her friends "I'm gonna miss you guys." She pulled back "But they're rich." She grinned "_And_ I'm going back to school, so I'll see you guys there?" she looked around hopefully, and her friends nodded.

"So you're really giving up da-" Rini began, but was cut off by Hisa's elbow in her gut.

Mahiru looked down. "Yeah. That's no longer a part of my life. Thanks you guys. For everything." She took one last look around, then heaved up her stuff, and left.

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Mahiru loved her room. It was done in all light blue, with a large western-style canopy bed, a soft carpet that you almost sank to your ankles in when stepped on, a wood-burning fire place, with an overstuffed blue armchair in front of it, and a desk in the corner. She had her own set of shoji doors that opened into the gardens, but could be covered with heavy curtains in the winter to keep out the cold. It wasn't huge, but Mahiru loved how it was cluttered and cozy. She had never had her own room before, and having an overly large one would have scared her. And she had her OWN BATHROOM, with a huge tub, and two sinks!

She also loved her school. She worked hard to catch up, and was able to see all her friends again, without the unpleasantness of Kameko-san hanging around them. Apparently, she had refused to move out, threatening them with violence. None of the girls really minded, she was only really horrible to Takara, who could block her out.

Haru-kun and Haa-san introduced her to the members of the Zodiac. She was surprised to find that her class president was the Rat, and another kid in her grade was the Cat. Momiji-kun grew to adore as soon as he found out that he didn't change with her, and therefore wouldn't get in trouble. Kisa-chan was shy at first, but when the other non-Sohma insider, Tohru-chan, introduced her, she warmed up very quickly, although never becoming as comfortable with Mahiru as she was with Tohru, who she called Oniichan. Mahiru was amused to meet Ritsu-chan after she heard that he was like her when she was nervous, and he definitely lived up to it. She just thought he was adorable, and hugged him every chance she got, confusing him some. Kagura-chan and Mahiru hit it off quite well, although more than a few hours together and both got a headache. Shigure-san she found… charismatic, although he seemed more interested in Takara-chan than in her, as did Ayame-san, who was trying to convince Takara-chan to model in his catalogue. Mahiru wanted to smack Hiro-kun across the face when she first met him, but could almost carry on a full conversation without having a stroke a few weeks after that. Rin-san didn't seem to have an opinion on her, and while she was being rude Mahiru decided if Rin could do that, so could she, and ignored the horse. Breakfast was served in the dining room of the main house, and a few days after she arrived there, it soon became a big group meal. Usually the Jyuunishi ate at their own houses, but Haru-kun, unwilling to leave his new Oni-chan alone, joined her, followed by Momiji-kun, Kisa-chan, Hiro-kun, and anyone else who deemed to show up once and a while. Dinner also became an affair, and lunches were eaten either at school, or in the park with her old friends from her apartment.

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"You know, you can't keep pulling that 'you're too ill, Akito' shit forever. Eventually he's gonna see her." Hatori jumped as he heard the Ox's voice behind him. "He's been cut off for almost two months."

Hatori turned around "I know. He's insisting on being taken back to his usual room." Hatori grinned "Although he wants a carpet and a sofa in there. And his bed to be changed to a western-style instead of a futon. I'm going to stall all of that for as long as I can, but eventually he'll get annoyed and order me to do it."

One of the nurses slipped out of the second floor room where Akito was staying and spoke quietly to Hatori, bowed to Haru, and then left.

"Apparently he wants me. If he orders me to bring Mah-chan up right now, you know I can't refuse." Hatori gave his young relation a grim smile.

Haru grinned "Mah-chan?"

Hatori blushed "It's what Momiji calls her." And slipped quietly into the God's room.

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Akito was propped up on pillows, only one IV tube still connected to him. He watched Hatori bow, then check the dosage on the morphine dispenser.

Akito sighed and decided to get right to the point. "I want to see the girl." He watched as Hatori froze, but then shook himself and continued fussing with the IV.

"Akito, you know that your health is very-"

"If you're waiting for me to get better, I won't." The God said curtly "I want to see her _now_. Bring her to me."

Hatori turned to Akito, forgetting the IV, his mind racing, trying to find a way out of the meeting. "Of course, Akito-sama." He found the solution "Just let me give you this injection first." Hatori turned and filled a syringe with a light blue, foul smelling liquid.

Akito narrowed his eyes "Don't even think about it." Hatori froze. He had been caught. Shocking, really. Many med students didn't know what that particular drug did.

"Don't look so surprised, I've been taking that since I was twelve. You shoot that stuff up my veins and I get knocked out. You would actually do that to me, Hatori?" The Dragon thought Akito's voice sounded like poisoned honey "You would choose a little, insignificant girl over me? If so, then just pretend for a while, I won't be around much longer. My twentieth birthday is in what? Two weeks? Humor me for a little longer, you can go crawling back to _that girl_ as soon as my heart stops beating, it won't be too long, I promise." Akito's voice then took on the qualities of a long, new dagger: hard, sharp, and alarming. "I'll overlook your transgression this time, Hatori. Don't expect me to be so lenient ever again. I just might punish the girl for it though. Now go get her." The God settled himself back into the pillows as Hatori bowed and left.

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The Dragon found Mahiru in her room reading. "Mah-chan?" he heard his traitorous voice saying, cursing himself.

She looked up and smiled "Yes, Haa-san? Anything to distract me from A Glorious History: Kyoto. I don't understand how this is going to help me with my future life."

"Akito wants to see you." He gave her a cool gaze "Now."

"Akito…huh. Doesn't ring a bell." She turned back to her book. Hatori stared at her,

disbelieving.

"Akito. Akito Sohma? The Head of the family!" This would have been hilarious under any other situation "The one who almost died the first day you got here?"

"Oh. OH! OMIGOSH! I completely forgot about that. Of course!" Mahiru blushed and scrambled up, losing her page, the thick textbook slamming shut. "Is he okay? Oh my… I completely forgot he existed! Wasn't that rude? Is he mad that I didn't go visit him when he was sick?"

Hatori actually began to laugh in spite of himself "Mah-chan, how old are you?"

"Um… seventeen. Why?" Mahiru was confused at the abrupt switch of topics.

"Just… Akito's only a little older than you, but don't treat him like that. He's used to being treated as a God, so only speak to him as you would the Emperor. Be very respectful, and if he insults you, don't try to defend yourself."

"O…kay." Mahiru began to remember the horrible stories she had heard from Haru-kun on her first night in the house about Akito. "But, he's not as bad as all that, is he?"

Hatori led her through the hallways and up the stairs to Akito's room, and just when Mahiru had given up hope on an answer, he said "Yes." And then opened the door and announced her presence to the God.

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Akito waved Hatori away with the hand not connected to the IV, and watched the girl who hesitantly walked in. As soon as Hatori had closed the door, she dropped into a low bow. "Konichiwa, Sohma-sama. Oaidekite Kouei desu."

"Konichiwa…" he studied her. She was slim, no doubt about that. Of course, it was nothing next to his decrepit, unnatural thinness. Her hair was shorter than when she had first come to the house, falling a little past her shoulders, but still plain and straight. Her face held a natural prettiness, not amazing, but there. Her eyes were brown… nothing remarkable there.

All in all he had to say she was a very unremarkable girl.

The girl remained standing, her head bowed. He supposed Hatori had given her lessons. "Are you enjoying my house?"

"Yes, very much. Osewa ni nari mahsita."

"And my family?"

"Yes, they are all very kind." Akito saw her smile slightly. He wondered what that was

about.

"So… you have become… _close_… with them?"

"Well, yes. Some of them. Most of them. You have a lovely family."

"So you've said."

Mahiru was starting to relax. He seemed nice enough. She had heard awful stories about him, but that didn't mean she was going to judge him right away. That would make her like Kameko-san, who immediately judged Takara-chan when she heard of her profession.

"So tell me," Akito's voice, smooth as silk, pulled her from her reverie "have you made any progress on lifting the curse?"

This caught her completely off guard. "Was I supposed to?"

She unconsciously backed up when Akito sat up on his own, glaring at her, his eyes full of menace, leaning on his hands "For what other reason do you think I'd ask you to stay here? Because I _liked_ you?"

'_Don't defend myself. Don't defend myself._' Haa-san's advice resounded through her head like a mantra.

Akito was beginning to get really annoyed. The girl just sat there, looking down, not even acknowledging his presence. She was stupid.

"Do you think my Jyuunishi actually like you?" He said quietly, and could tell by the jolt of her shoulders that he had struck a nerve. "Do you think they want to be around you? Do you think they want you around for any other reason than that you might be able to lift the curse?" She was trembling now. Good. "They're using you. Everyone is using you." He said, bringing his voice down a notch, and she, so engrossed in his words, had no choice but to move closer to him. He almost laughed. "You are a tool to them, a tool to end the curse. Nothing more, nothing less. But don't feel bad. That still means you're important. A carpenter would be lost without his hammer, wouldn't he? Well, until he just got a new one anyway." He saw a few tears run down the girl's face. Perfect.

Mahiru was terrified. She sat there reviewing everything she had learned about Akito. Suddenly one memory sprung to the front of her mind.

_Flashback_:

_It had been about a week after Mahiru had moved in. Haru-kun had come to visit, helping her rearrange the armchair so that it was in front of the fireplace. They had been talking idly, until something caught her attention._

"_Haru-kun? Did- did you just call me oniichan?"_

_Haru blushed furiously, futzing with the chair "I'm sorry, uh, I didn't mean to. Really. Sorry."_

_Mahiru felt tears spring to her eyes "Oh no, it's okay. Really!"_

_Haru turned to look at her, the red fading from his face "seriously?"_

"_Seriously, little brother."_

_End of flashback_.

Mahiru stood, bowed, and mumbled "I'm sorry our visit was so short. Goodbye." To the floor, then turned to leave.

"I haven't dismissed you." Akito's voice rang with menace from behind her.

Seized with a sudden reckless courage, Mahiru spun on her heel and turned to look at him "Well too bad. I just dismissed myself. I'm not a Sohma, and I respect you, but the worst you can do you me is to order me out of this house. You can't _order_ me to stay, I can go anywhere I please unless you throw me out, in which case I will leave and never come back."

"Now there's an idea…" mused Akito, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"You're the one who told me I should move in here. I'm here on your orders. I like it here, so thank you, but seriously, you can't touch me." Mahiru walked over to his bedside, her arms crossed in front of her "I think you are in dire need of a reality check. You are not even twenty, yet you act like you're all worldly? Truthfully, how far have you ever been from this house, or another Sohma house? I thought so. I've been earning for myself and working since I turned twelve. Everything was just given to you. You're not a real God. You're just a human. A human who can't even get out of bed right now without help. You're pitiful. That's all you are." Mahiru heard herself saying these things to the God, but couldn't stop herself. "You strike out at other people because you're jealous of them. You try to keep the Jyuunishi close to you so that… so that WHAT, Akito?" His glare became murderous as she addressed him like that "Do you want them to suffer with you? Is that what it is? Because that has to be the single most selfish thing I've ever heard. They love you. Don't make them ever regret that love. The way you're acting right now, I don't think you're even worth their pity. You're pissed off. So would I be if I was gonna die, but I would be _enjoying _myself, so that when I died, people would be crying. Crying for me and my personality and because they didn't just love me, they genuinely liked me as a person. So goodbye." Mahiru walked out the door, accidentally pushing a very surprised Hatori out of the way. "Omigosh, were you listening?"

Hatori just gaped, he seemed to have some trouble with coherency, but after a few minutes "You actually _said that_. To Akito. Oh my… you did. Didn't you?" He looked like he was about to choke and die "Well, he probably wants me." He opened the door, and then turned back to her "Good for you."

The God was leaning back on his pillows, looking weaker than he had all week. Hatori refilled the IV, and checked Akito's breathing and heart rate. Unsurprisingly, his breathing was heavy and his heart rate high.

"She's amusing, isn't she?" Akito's voice barely carried across the small room to the doctor, who was preparing an injection for him.

"What? Who?" Hatori was confused. He _couldn't_ be talking about Mahiru. He _hated Mahiru_.

"The girl." Now he just sounded aggravated. He _was_ talking about her. Hatori almost passed out when Akito began to chuckle lightly.

"Yes… we… think so." Hatori quickly gave the God the injection, then left. He leaned against the wall, and slid down it, his legs no longer supporting him '_What the hell just happened!_'

**Hello my wonderful readers! That's it for now, I'll see you either Monday or Tuesday when I get back, and I'll bring you all postcards and Red Socks hats! Actually, considering how long the car ride is, I'll either have blown up the Red Socks hats before I get them back to NY, or they'll be taken away from me once I cross the state line, so never mind. **

**Okay, now on to stuff I'm actually supposed to put on here! Um... I think Ren is going to make an appearance in the next few chapters, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not. Let me know  
**

**REVIEW NOWW!**

**Oh, and ilu.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Good morning! And yes, afternoon on a national holiday _is_ morning.**

**Amara Corbin: Hugs back :)**

**Little oro: Hi. Nice to meet you. I like to read the profiles and stuff of my reviewers, just making sure that it's not like "Hi, my name is Dr. Lecter, and if I'm reviewing your story that means I want to eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." (Silence of the Lambs if you didn't get that, sorry) So yeah. Anyway, I took a look at your myspace, and at your music interests, and I have to say, you have great ones! I'm sorry if this is a little weird, but I want to recommend some of my friends for you to listen to, they seem like something you would like. Anyway, check out Gone Baby Gone and Asinity. They both have myspaces, just Also check out And Then I Turned Seven, but they might be a little Indie for you.**

**Sorry, I know, I take every possible opportunity to talk about music…**

**NoCareChakara: 0.o Please don't…**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

-------

Akito couldn't sleep, and he didn't know why.

Okay, he knew why, but it wasn't a reason he liked.

The girl had gotten to him.

That _annoying bitch_. She didn't know what it was like to be him. She had been working since she was twelve… SO WHAT! He had been struggling for his next breath since before he could remember. Was it _his_ fault he'd never been far from the Main Estate? No. It was the fault of those damn doctors, trying to keep him alive. He was trapped inside a shell. A horrifying, frail, twisted, _weak_ shell. A shell that would never be able to support him. And she had the nerve to tell him how hard she had it!

Bitch.

-------

Mahiru was in her room, spread out on her bed, her eyes not focusing on the words of her textbook, listening to the sounds Momiji-kun made as he rummaged through her room. She heard him open the door to her closet thumb through her clothes. It made Mahiru so happy to hear people going through her clothes. She actually had a lot of clothes. And they all fit. And they were all her first choice. Not all were new, however. She, Kagura, and Ritsu had gone down to a 'thrift mall' one weekend and she gotten loads of things. Every time she spent money, she felt vaguely guilty, thinking about her dependence on the Sohmas, and how technically, she should be paying them, not the other way around.

A loud clunk and some whimpering brought her back to the present. She threw down her textbook and went and crouched by the Rabbit, who was lying dazed on the floor.

"Momiji-kun, what did you do?"

"The bag hit me." He sat up and pointed to a heavy black bag that was now resting at the bottom of the closet, instead of the top where she had stuffed it when she moved in. He bounded up and proceeded to try to unzip it.

"Momiji, don't!" She lunged at him and pulled the bag away protectively, hugging it to her chest.

"What's in it?" Momiji looked thoroughly confused, and slightly hurt.

"It's just… bad memories." Mahiru looked at the bag mournfully. "I almost forgot this existed. But it always stuck in the back of my head." It was dusty, and she rubbed it with her hand "The stuff in this bag used to be my life. The thing I loved and the thing I was going to do for the rest of my life."

"…a bag? You were going to be a bag lady?"

"No. I keep my dreams in here. Well, my old dreams."

"You never truly lose sight of an important dream unless you achieve it." Momiji-kun looked at her seriously.

"You know, that was really wise." Mahiru looked with new respect at her little bunny friend. Or at least, she did until he started going through her underwear drawer and came out with a bra on his head.

"Give me that!"

Her voice and Momiji's laughter echoed through the house.

-------

Akito was very thirsty. It was late, and Hatori had gone to go get some sleep. They deemed him well enough to not have a nurse by his bedside 24/7, for which he was grateful, but he had no way of getting a drink. He sighed heavily and leaned back further into the pillows, his mouth completely dry. He had been stuck in the bed long enough. He grasped the needle dispensing Morphine into his body and pulled it out, letting it swing, dripping, from the metal pole that the bag of liquid was attached to. He swung his legs around to the side of the bed and sat like that until his world had adjusted itself to being right-side-up. Keeping the side of the bed in a death-grip, he slid his feet onto the ground, and then lifted himself up, using both his arms and legs, and all of his strength. Once again he waited for his vision to clear, and then he slowly let go of the bed, and then gradually straightened a little bit, until he was only slightly hunched over, concentrating on keeping his balance and wrapping his robe tightly around him. He placed one hand back on the bed to steady himself while he turned towards the door, then he took a step and clutched the IV pole for support. Another step. The IV pole came with him. Another one, and he let go of the pole in favor of the chair. Resting there for a moment, felt his eyesight swimming and closed his eyes, waiting for it to pass. Finally he opened his eyes and was able to step away from the chair and grab at the open door. When he grabbed it, however, it swung, knocking him off his feet and onto his knees, one hand still on the doorknob. He waited there, breathing heavily and hissing from the bruises he knew were blooming darkly on his watery knees. After a moment he pulled himself up again on the doorknob and doorframe, leaning heavily on them for a while before stepping out into the hallway and holding tightly to the wall. He was vaguely aware of where the room he had been staying in was in the house. It was the room where they actually stored all the machinery. In his rooms, there was only a closet full of Oxygen tanks and every-day drugs. He continued along the wall, slowly, but a few feet later he was out of breath. He rested for a few minutes, and then continued down the hall. His lack of air, doubled with his intense thirst, was bringing on an acute coughing fit. He fought it as he limped at a snail's pace down the hall, hanging onto the wall for dear life, only coughing once or twice, gasping for air. Finally, triumphant, he reached the end of the hallway.

Ah…

He had forgotten about the stairs…

**Short chapter, sorry…. It's catching up to me. I had this fic written up to about 6 pages beyond this part when I started, and I didn't write as frequently or as fast as I did when I first started, so yeah, I better get working on that. I am, I swear. I decided that Ren _will_ make an appearance at some point! Yay! Anyway, you'll find out a little bit more about Mahiru's past in the next chapter. Till then, shalom!**


	7. Chapter 7

**See, it's long!**

**...kinda **

**Um… just some background info for those of you who haven't read that far in the manga or seen that much of the anime (I've actually seen like, 3 episodes of it, heehee), Ren is Akito's mother. Um… She was a maid in the Sohma household but then she fell in love with Akira, who was God at the time. He was sick a lot (duh) and she took care of him, and they got married. He totally loved Akito when he was born, like a lot, and Ren got REALLY jealous, and she completely hates Akito. Akira died pretty soon (boohoo and duh) and Ren still really hates Akito, and… yeah. She hates him a lot, and thinks that he stole her husband away from her. Ren tries to convince Akito that his bond with the Jyuunishi is fake, and they have a bet. If the Zodiac still returns to Akito instead of Tohru Honda, then Akito get to stay the head of the family, but if they don't, he gives his title up to Ren…. Oh, also she 'befriends' Rin (Isuzu—the horse) and gets her to try to sabotage him.**

**I think, I'm really not that far, tell me if I have it wrong.**

**Um… anything else?**

**I like doughnuts…**

**Yeah, I have finals coming up (boohoo) :( and… oh! I thought about bringing you all souvenirs from Boston but apparently that's like, impossible, since you can't download them.**

**My author's notes are too long.**

**Oh, and since I never did it before: I do not own Fruits Basket. Just Mahiru and apartment friends. And the couch in her room. I think. Her name is Paul…a.**

**Don't sue me, I got no money.**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

-------

Mahiru heard thumping from overhead. She ignored it, and went back to her dream. It was a very nice one, where she was beating a God-in-a-Box over the head with a rocking horse. The thumping persisted. Mahiru groaned and was yanked ungratefully awake. She listened closely and heard what sounded like coughing from upstairs.

'_Omigosh what if the Sohmas are being robbed?'_

She tiptoed out of bed, her tank-top and sleep pants still warm with their reminiscence of sheets and a comforter. She edged into the hallway, and inched through until she came to the stairs. She slowly climbed up, her eyes trained on a shadow, that looked to be sitting on a step a little more than halfway down. It coughed hoarsely, its breathing ragged. She crept carefully closer, as the figure seemed to be ignorant of her presence.

"What do you want?"

…or not.

Mahiru almost fainted when she heard it talk, although upon recognizing the voice, she realized she should have known who it was all along. She bowed "Good evening Sohma-sama."

"Oh, so now we're playing nice?"

"Okay, never mind." Mahiru knew that technically, she should apologize. She was living in _his _house, off of _his_ charity, with _his_ family, and she had just pretty much cursed _him_ out. "What are you doing here?"

He gave her a death stare, "This is my house. I can go wherever I please."

"Well, yeah. I mean… of course. You should. Go wherever you please, I mean. In the house. Which is yours." Mahiru heard her self babbling and took a 'deep, cleansing breath'. Once calmed, she studied him more closely. He was hunched over, holding his robe tightly around him with trembling pale hands, as though trying to ward out a phantom chill, his breathing coming in ragged, uneven wheezes. "Are you alright?"

His death gaze returned.

"O…Kay. Touchy subject." Mahiru sat on the stairs next to him.

-------

Akito was appalled at this girl. She was sitting there, next to him, without an invitation. What she _should_ be doing is just getting him his glass of water. With a start, he realized he _hadn't told her to do that_.

He was really starting to miss the Morphine drip…

-------

Mahiru settled into her position. It was vaguely comfortable, once she leaned her elbows on the step. She realized how truly little she knew about the Sohma Head of House. She turned to him "What do you want to be when you grow up?", only realizing the mistake of her words once they came out of her mouth. But there they hung, and she was unable to take them back. "Sorry, never mind." She turned back to facing down the stairs. '_omigod omigod omigod how insensitive is that!_'

Akito blinked. No one, not one single person, had EVER asked him that. Even after she had taken it back, told him she didn't expect an answer, he continued to think about it. What _would_ he have done with his life? "…A politician perhaps. If I had the time or strength for it…" He gaped at himself. He had just said that out loud. It was supposed to stay in his thoughts. He felt the girl looking at him.

"I was going to be a ballerina."

He smirked slightly. "I answered truthfully."

"So did I." Mahiru sighed and looked at the house's enormous, high ceiling. "I was going to be a ballerina. With the Astral Troupe." She looked at him "Ever heard of it?"

He hesitated, disbelieving at the conversation he was having, then shook his head.

"Yeah. They're not that good, or that well known. I was always told that I could do so much better than them. But they were my dream."

Akito glared at her "Why are you telling me this?"

She looked at him thoughtfully "You know, I don't know. Maybe because you know how it feels when you _don't_ think it'll all be okay, like everyone tells you it will."

He shook his head "You know nothing of pain."

"Don't I?" She sighed and stood up. "I'm going back to sleep." She started down the stairs, taking her time, contemplating each carpeted step.

Akito watched her go, his mouth still dry, and his legs still spent. He called her name to stop her. When she turned he simply said "Get me a glass of water."

"Alright." She hopped down the rest of the stairs and towards what he knew to be the kitchens. That had been surprisingly easy. He had been expecting some kind of argument. She returned with a large glass of cold water, and she held it out to him, but when he didn't reach for it just set it next to him.

"Akito… Akito-sama, I mean. Sohma-sama." He looked up at her "What are you doing here? I mean here on the stairs."

He motioned limply to the glass of water, his gaze disinterestedly falling back down.

She was about to walk away again, when the good manners she had been taught as a working-girl surged their way to the surfaced again "Are you sure you're okay? You don't need help or anything?"

The Glare returned. Mahiru thought about giving it a name. Perhaps some dumb pun to do with God's eyes. She chuckled to herself, amused at her middle-of-the-night sense of humor, and sat down again, stretching out comfortably on her back. The staircase had been an object of great admiration to Mahiru, carpeted and huge. The gleaming wood railings suggested Western Victorian influence, each step wide enough to fit a giant's foot comfortably onto it. At two in the morning, it was as good as any place to sleep. Mahiru felt her eyes slowly drift close, and the feeling of warmth and home she was just starting to get used to wash over her as they finally shut, covering her with a warm blanket of sleep.

-------

Akito silently watched the girl sleep for about an hour, slowly sipping the water. He half-stood, slowly, still in a crouched position, unused to his body after his long period of bed rest, and continued slowly down the stairs until he reached his room. When he entered, his eyes widened quickly, and then narrowed in annoyance. He had ordered the Dragon to add things to his room, namely a sofa, carpet, and a new bed. He had been told that they were working on it, and the room wasn't ready. That had been a lie. His room looked out at him exactly as he had ordered it. He felt his anger overtake him, pushing out the rare complacency he had felt while on the stairs with the girl. His frown deepened. The girl. That's why his faithful little fishy had turned into a liar. What else had Hatori been lying about? Akito intended to find out.

-------

Mahiru woke up with her neck hurting. She figured she'd fallen asleep on her textbook again. Going back to school after two months of being out had forced her to become almost glued to the book so she would be able to catch up. She opened her eyes reluctantly, wondering why her alarm hadn't gone off. What she saw was the giant Sohma staircase spreading out below her as though she was sitting on a pyramid. She sat up quickly, sending all the blood rushing to her head and blacking out her vision. She waited it out, and then looked around, realizing that she was, in fact, on the stairs. Seeing the empty glass on her right, she remembered her night. '_What exactly does that mean?_' she asked herself, unable to come up with a conclusion '_Does he like me or not?_'

"Mah-chan!" She heard Momiji's voice coming from down the hallway "MAH-CH… Oh. Hi." He spotted her on the stairs. "Come on, we're going to be late" he bounded over to her, and then stopped with a puzzled look on his face. "Did you sleep there?"

"Long story…. And late for what?" She rubbed her eyes, shading them against the sun that came streaming through the huge window right across from her.

"…School." Momiji cocked his head "Are you sure you're okay?"

"OMIGOSH, SCHOOL!"

Mahiru raced down the stairs and into her uniform, and barely made it by the last bell, a slightly confused but very amused Momiji skipping after her.

-------

Akito sat outside, leaning against his shoji doors, the winter sun warm on his face, his feet freezing in contrast. He exhaled, seeing the small fog of his breath in the air, remembering the last time he had been outside. He shivered slightly.

-------

Hatori sighed as he dropped his cigarette. Either they were continually getting shorter in some evil tobacco company conspiracy or he needed a vacation. He had recently put Hiro's mother on bed rest, but she didn't seem to understand that that meant that she should be _resting in bed_. He massaged his temples. She was normally a klutz, but now every time she fell he had to run over to see her, just to make sure. He was thinking of covering her house in bubble wrap. He began walking down the path to the Main House, the brown, dead plants of winter sympathizing with him. He could use the bigger bubble wrap for the floors, and corners would be covered with Styrofoam. Maybe he should just chain her down…

If only he could chain _Akito _down. He saw the God sitting outside, his yukata falling off one shoulder, and his eyes closed as he leaned against the house. '_How the hell did he get downstairs?_' Hatori walked over to him.

"Akito-sama, I don't think you're well enough to be down here." The God ignored him. Hatori kneeled by him, and reached out one hand to feel his forehead.

"Why did you lie to me Hatori?" The God's voice was breathless, quiet, and deadly.

Hatori froze, and then awkwardly returned his hand to his pocket "About what?" He busied himself standing and brushing phantom dust off his pants.

"You know." Akito's eyes opened a crack and he looked out at Hatori malevolently "Were you trying to _protect_ her?"

Hatori was at a loss of what to say. Yes, he had been trying to protect Mahiru, but he was sure answering such to Akito would end badly. He was saved when Akito's eyes fluttered closed. "Go away."

"Is something wrong Akito-sama?" Hatori was comfortable with this topic.

"Yes. I'm dying. Go away, you leech." The sun went behind a cloud, and Akito pulled his yukata tighter around himself. Hatori usually went quiet when he said things like that. He was tired, and his whole body hurt. While he was being quiet, he thought he could hear his heartbeat gradually slowing, thinking about how it would feel when it finally ground to a stop. He was _not _in the mood to deal with the doctor.

"At least get in bed."

"When I feel like it." Akito felt himself floating, losing interest. This scene had played out a hundred different times, all the same. Next, the Dragon would tell him 'You are very ill, I must insist, as your doctor, that you get in bed and let me examine you.' Or something in that vein.

"Last time you came out here you couldn't feel anything for months."

Well, that was new. Akito's eyes shot open, taking in the Dragon, who was apparently as shocked as he was.

Hatori cleared his throat "I… I mean—well, you should get in bed." This second attempt was pathetic, and when Akito told him to go away, he went willingly enough.

-------

**So now you can press that pretty little button that says 'Go' next to the Submit Review thing.**

**Oh, and love to Amara Corbin!**

**Love Laur**

**You're mad jealous**

**OMFG AND I'M GOING TO A 'THE SCENE AESTHETIC' CONCERT!**

**AGAIN!**

**YAY ERIC AND ANDREW! I'm a musical freak.**

**Oh, and I said we were going to learn more about Mahiru here, and we did. A little bit. More in the next chapter, sorry. I think…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Um… yeah**

**Something weird I've noticed is that besides White Alchemist Taya (whom I love) and Amara Corbin (whom I ADORE, but my adoration is slowly fading every day she DOESN'T UPDATTTEE! _HINT FRICKIN HINT_), no one really reviews more than once. On every chapter I have like… a new group of people. I think that's really cool, and kinda weird. :)**

**Um… Raikune: OMG ME TOO!**

**Mangoslushee: Probably… I haven't figured it out yet, but definitely a probability. I'm thinking out two alternate endings right now. But you don't get to pick it because I'M THE AUTHOR! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Okay, now that that's done…**

**Disclaimer: Yup. Still don't own 'em. Damn it. **

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

Mahiru skipped home. _Home_. She reveled in the word, knowing her home was a gigantic house, in which she had her own room _and _bathroom. And she was on… considerably good terms… with the Head of the Sohma household. Or at least she thought she was, after last night. She decided to go in her shoji doors, just because she could. Just go in through _her_ personal entrance. She loved it. She turned off the main path to a path she figured would take her to her room… eventually.

She pulled her coat around her, the cold early spring breeze cutting through her uniform shirt. She hurried, her bag bouncing against her leg.

"Oh… shit." She breathed. Akito was sitting right in front of her, leaning against the decorated doors she knew to be his. His eyes were closed, and he looked to be sleeping. She contemplated stepping over him, but cast that idea aside. Maybe she should wake him up… or at least go a different way and find Hatori. The cold wind ripped through her again, and she tried to step over him, looking back once she was clear. He still looked unconscious. She sighed and turned to continue down the path.

"I expect you in my room in an hour."

Man. "Um…" Mahiru wasn't sure how to respond to that. She really wasn't ordered to do anything except when she was a waitress, and then she had just said 'Yes sir', smiled and nodded.

"Go away." That seemed to be becoming a mantra for him.

"Alright…" she kept walking, contemplating his change in moods since the night before. He hadn't exactly been friendly on the stairs, but she was starting to get the feeling that might have just been because he couldn't walk away. She was slightly disconcerted to see that her room was right next to his, sharing a wall, although some bushes separated their outdoor space.

Akito waited until she was in her room with the doors closed to call for Hatori to help him inside.

-------

Mahiru stood by Akito's doors, unsure if she actually wanted to go in. Then again, she really didn't have much of a choice…

She poked her head into his room and saw him lying in his bed, propped up by pillows, his eyes closed. '_Maybe he's sleeping…_'

"Come in."

Ah… shit.

She tiptoed into the room, coming to stand at his bedside, wringing her hands. "Hello…"

He opened his eyes and smirked at her. "Well?"

"Well what?" Mahiru could tell he expected something from her.

"Dance."

'_Okay, this is just out of some lame black and white movie where they said that right before they shot at your feet so you jumped around like a moron_.' Mahiru could see both of his hands, so she guessed he wasn't secretly clutching a gun. "Excuse me?"

"Dance." That awful word again, and although he said it softly, it grated on her ears as though he had screamed it. "You said you were a dancer. I want you to dance for me."

"But…" she dropped her head, and squeezed images out of her mind, images of the day she had _forced_ herself only to remember as 'The Day I Met Haru', not 'The Day I Ruined My Life', or 'The Day I Lost My Dreams.' "But…"

"But… but…" Akito mimicked her cruelly. Here was the girl who had made Hatori lie to him. "Do it."

"I haven't danced since… in a while." She finished lamely, still staring at the floor and keeping her mind carefully blank.

"I never said you had to be very good, I just told you to dance." He lifted himself onto his elbows, eyes flashing dangerously "You are living in my house, off of my charity. And you will do as I say. Now." He sank back onto the pillows, laughing "Besides, I doubt you were _ever_ any good."

His words stung her more than he had probably intended to. Nevertheless, she walked to the center of his room, took off her sneakers, and assumed a starting position. She began to move mechanically, unaware of what she was doing, trying to keep a blank mind. After a while she realized that she was performing a dance from Coppélia, the story of two lovers, Swanilda and Franz. She found herself performing as Swanilda, dancing in a solo at the very beginning of the show before she finds out her fiancé has fallen in love with another, who turns out to be a life-sized doll. She was surprised at how well her body remembered the movements, how she was able to still kick just as high as if she had been practicing less than an hour ago. Even the carpet and her socks did nothing to deter her movements as she became Swanilda, a woman set to marry her love the following day, everything perfect. 

-------

She was beautiful. Akito didn't know any other way to put it. Even in a t-shirt and in sweatpants, her socks brushing against the carpet, her movements were flawless, flowing, skipping around his room. When she finally came to a stop, he looked at her for a long time, his awe slowly turning to anger. Who was _she _to be able to do that? Spin and jump, running as though it took no effort. Even now she looked barely winded. His anger grew as he thought about it more. He could barely stand at the moment, and there she was, _pirouetting? _In what way was that right? He was GOD. She was NOTHING.

"Get out."

His voice punctured the silence. She stood, still in her ending position, her mind empty. At his words, her head snapped up, and she looked at him. He was still in his bed, but now he looked pale. Pale and furious.

"I…I'm sorry." What had she done wrong? He had told her to dance.

"Get OUT!" Akito sat up, his hands curling into fists, his rage evident on his face. Mahiru ran.

-------

Back in her room she went to her closet, opening it and bringing her black back off the top shelf and over to her bed. She carefully took out the picture in its tarnished flame, she woman and toddler girl still ecstatic, the man still despondent, and the baby boy still sleeping. She traced it slowly with her thumb, and then put it on her night table. She continued unpacking the bag, carefully shaking out her dancing costumes and delicately spread them out. She took out her point shoes and unwrapped them from their scented tissue paper.

-------

Hatori went into the God's room, ready for the checkup. And anything Akito might say about Mahiru. He had spent the last two hours thinking up things he could say if he brought up the lie again, and had about 30 different come-backs, and 15 tactful different ways of changing the subject. If worse came to worse, he figured he could always knock the God out with some drug or another. He could justify the drug use by the paleness of the God's face by the shoji doors earlier…

He knocked softly and entered, not waiting for a reply. Akito was sprawled out on his bed, his yukata only covering half of his upper body. He was staring at the ceiling, looking almost sad. Hatori stood awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do. He felt he was intruding on something private, something the God wanted to keep to himself. He coughed quietly, then louder until Akito heard him.

Akito turned his head to face Hatori, his eyes still infinitely sad. "Yes?"

"Um… It's time for your checkup." Hatori was always thrown off by Akito's quick mood swings. He walked over to the God, who allowed him to take his pulse, blood pressure, heartbeat, and breathing rhythm without comment or a fight. Hatori began setting out the pills that Akito had to take for the day, and filled two syringes. Only the normal treatment today. He had thought that after being outside, Akito would have needed some extra attention. Hatori gave Akito the shots quickly, skilled after so many years of giving the God at least two a day. "Are you feeling any abnormal pain? Nausea? Sudden migraines?"

"No."

Hatori wasn't sure what to do. The God was always either bitingly insulting, accusing, or too ill to be either. "Well, I'm glad to be of service, Akito-sama." He bowed and turned to leave.

"Hatori?" He turned back.

"Yes Akito-sama?"

"Why…?" Oh. Hence the sad expression.

"I don't know, Akito-sama." Hatori replied softly, looking down at the weak young man lying still on his bed "I honestly don't know." With that Hatori walked around the bed and settled himself into the armchair positioned there, and there he stayed until Akito fell asleep.

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**I was going to post this combined with another part, but then that made it almost twelve pages long, so I didn't. **

**ILU, and pleaseeee review now!**

**Because you love me too :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yay! Did I ever tell you that I love reviews? Well I do. Oh, and Amara Corbin, I _do_ have a life. I just take time out of it to not do homework, and that's when I do this :) I try to update every other day or so…**

**Two of my best friends are going out, and one of them is only doing it out of pity. :(**

**Anyway, enough of my life.**

**This chapter doesn't have much Akito Mahiru stuff in it, WHICH I PROMISE WILL HAPPEN SOON, but it's still important. Yay chapter about Mahiru's past!**

**Nozomuloverilovecrescentmoon: OMFG ME TOO! Mitsuru is totally the best though**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru walked home with Haru most days. At the moment, though, he was caught off guard by her sudden graceful spinning, and the way she seemed to not be listening to anything he said. '_Maybe Akito did something to her… or maybe she's in love or something. How are those turns even possible? She looks like a ballerina…_'

"Haru-kun!" He jerked when he heard his name.

"Yeah?" He turned to look at her, a good twenty feet behind him, still at the intersection.

"Where are you going?" She cocked her head to one side, looking quizzically at him.

"Uh… Home. You?"

"Home. But we live that way." She pointed down the street he had not taken.

"What? No, we live…" he trailed off, looking around. "Wait… never mind. You're right." He trudged back to her, smiling half-heartedly "That's the spirit of the Ox for you. Dumb." He passed her and walked down the sidewalk.

Mahiru caught up with him easily "You're not dumb, Haru-kun."

He snorted.

"…I'm the dumb one." Mahiru said softly, looking at the sidewalk.

"How so?"

"Did I ever tell you I was a dancer?"

This definitely caught him off guard "Well… no."

"I was. Ballet. But I screwed up my audition for the Astral Troupe."

"The who's?" Haru had never heard of them.

"Astrals. It's complicated."

"I've got time. I could even get us lost again if you want." Haru grinned at her. She grinned back, catching on to his enthusiasm.

"Well, my mom was a dancer too. She wasn't very good though, and her _dream_ was to join the Astrals. My dad was sort of their star dancer at the time, and he fell in love with my mom. She slept with him so she could get in, but later on found out she was pregnant. It kind of put a damper on her career…"

"I bet." Haru said evenly. He had never heard of any of this before.

"He promised he would stay with her. After I was born, my mom worked hard to get back into shape, but she still wasn't very good. She slept with my dad _again_, and I guess they were just a match made in heaven, because out came my brother. What are the odds of that, right?" She laughed. "My mom didn't love my dad, though. He kept hoping that one day she would, because he was _whipped_. But then my mom found this guy she _really_ liked. The last time I ever saw my dad was a day fourteen years ago when we all went to the park. I have this great picture of it. The _only_ picture of all of us. Mom's boyfriend took it, so my dad doesn't look very happy, but what can you do?"

"So… what happened?" Haru ventured, not sure if he'd gone too far.

"Well, my dad disappeared. I have no idea where he went. I was able to get his name out of some old dance programs, but other than that, I don't know anything about him. My mom got a job after her boyfriend turned out to be married, with six kids, might I add, and was picking up my brother from school one day when they were both shot in a robbery. We lived in a kind of low income area."

"I'm sorry…" Haru really didn't know what to say.

She smiled at him. "Don't be. I've come to terms with it. After my mom and brother died, I didn't have any other family, and my mother didn't have much money to leave me, so I just fended for myself. I have a Social Worker who's supposed to put me in foster care if things get too bad, but I haven't seen her in about a year. I devoted myself to my mom's dream, but once I spent through all her money, I dropped out of school and got a job, so that I could keep dancing. I was always told I was better than the Astrals, but it's what I want to do with my life, do the things that my mom could never achieve in hers." She stopped at the intersection between the path to the Main House, and the path that eventually led to Haru's house. "That day I met you, I had just come from and Astral's audition. I screwed it up so badly. I was so _nervous_. I felt like both my mom's and my own dreams were riding on _that_ moment, and if I messed it up, her whole life would be in vain. So I choked. I fell and twisted my ankle. And then I ran away. Right into you." She grinned "Which didn't turn out so bad."

"No, it didn't." Haru looked at his 'sister' with newfound respect. This just proved that she was even more the amazing person he knew she always was.

"I'm thinking of taking it up again, though. Akito made me dance for him, and I was surprised at how it made me feel. Not sad, or angry, or really anything negative. I just felt _right._"

"You've danced for Akito?" Mahiru turned around to face him, bewildered by his tone, which was more than a little bit hostile.

"Well, yeah. He ordered me to."

"Then he _knew_?" Haru's tone was unmistakably angry.

"Well, yeah, I told him, wow, two nights ago?" Haru turned on his heel and walked away from her. Mahiru stood open-mouthed for a few seconds before running after him "Haru-kun! What? What did I do?" he ignored her, and kept on in his fast, angry pace.

She stopped trying to catch up with him, and let herself fall behind. "I'm Sorry!" she called to his retreating back "Really! I didn't mean it… whatever it is! _Please_ don't be mad at me!"

Haru's stride became less heated, and gradually he stopped, still not facing her. Mahiru ran up to him. "Sorry?" she offered again.

He gave her a lopsided smile. "It's not you. It's _him_. Somehow, he always manages to do it."

"…Do what?" Mahiru was completely mystified.

"Take them away." He started walking again, but realizing he was already in front of his house, sat on the steps. "Everyone. Yuki, Rin…" he looked up at her "You."

"Huh?"

"Well, why did you tell him before you told me?" his voice no longer sounded accusing, simply curious.

"Well, it was weird. Two nights ago he was on the stairs, and we talked."

"You _talked_?" Haru raised one eyebrow "What could you two _possibly _have in common?"

"Well, at the time, crushed lives. He was born to suffer slowly and painfully and then die, and I…" she giggled "messed up my audition."

"Well, it was an important audition." Haru came to her defense.

She smiled "Thanks. Wait… Rin?"

Haru looked at the ground. "Yeah… we kind of… dated. But Akito got pissed."

Mahiru stood up fluidly, and Haru berated himself for not seeing from the way she moved that she was a dancer. "Well, I'll talk to him."

"You'll do _what_?" Now he was worried.

"I'll talk to him. Apparently he takes a lot of shit from me that he would _kill _other people for. He hasn't thrown a vase at me or anything." She grinned "The one thing I don't get is why you would date Rin. I think you're _way_ better than her."

Haru laughed. "Yeah, I get that a lot. But I love her."

"Well, I'll see you later." Mahiru waved and went back down the path and to the Main House.

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Akito lay in his bed. He had not had the strength to get out of it that morning, and couldn't see a purpose to, anyway. He was lying on his side, his back to the door, looking out his window. At the moment, he was pondering his life.

Well, mainly, he was pondering the girl.

She was obedient enough, interesting in a world full of routine and boredom, better _looking_ than the… _other _girl, and she was fulfilling his master purpose. Every time the rabbit, or monkey, or boar, or ox, or even the ram, came to visit her, they would go in to see him, as well. She was like a magnet, his own Tohru Honda. She didn't have enough reach for the rat or the monster, but he knew that they would eventually follow the rest of them, and come back. Yes, having the girl was definitely a good strategic move on his part.

But then there was the problem of her personality.

Akito had never expected her to be so… he didn't even have a word for it. He was finding himself becoming intrigued by her. That had definitely not been in his agenda, and it was beginning to annoy him. Why did she care about what he would have done with his life? He couldn't understand it.

A quiet knock came from the door, but in the quiet of his room it was as though they had just fired a cannon. Akito didn't bother to answer it. By the quick nervous step as the person entered the room, Akito could tell it was a servant. Akito wrinkled his nose. He disliked what he knew the servant was doing. _Food._ His body immediately rejected any fatty, rich, or too hard to digest food, ending up in him throwing up for hours. Not a good thing when it was hard enough to breathe when things were calm. So for the past ten months, when his illness became much more seriously life threatening, he was forced onto a diet of plain white rice, some kind of soup, usually containing leeks, and _lots_ of vitamin pills, mixed in with more pills he didn't even know the purpose of, although he could think of a million things. Any kind of food made him vaguely nauseous, and he found it easier to just not eat. Apparently Hatori had some kind of problem with this. Akito completely ignored the servant, only looking up when they had gone. He rolled over, seeing the tray on his night table. The bowls mocked him as he glared at the array of pills, in their own little dish next to the juice. He counted twelve, and then rolled away in disgust. Another upside of not eating was that it made him even more frail, making it easier for him to sleep. And not the fever-ridden, terrifying, painful sleep of the night, but just… sleep. Akito closed his eyes and waited for his weakness to consume him, as it almost always did.

**Now you can review! Aren't you happy! You know this is your meaning in life. So go on, just hit the little button… **

**You know you want to.**

**Love Laur**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello again... **

** Did'ja miss me? Sure you did. Everyone does :)  
**

**And now... my apology for taking so long to update: **

**I'M SORRY, MY COMPUTER DIED! A LOT! MY INTERNET WAS COMPLETELY BROKEN:(**

**Ooh, a long chapter, aren't you happy?**

**I don't really like this chapter that much, but it needs to be here, because well… you'll see. **

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Mahiru peeked into Akito's room. Seeing him lying in his bed, she walked in. On closer inspection, he was fast asleep. She dropped her books in the armchair next to his bed, but then put them on the floor as she settled herself into the chair. She picked up her history textbook and began flipping through it, every now and then glancing at the sleeping God.

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Akito woke to an obnoxious pounding in his head. Apparently the pills that came with his food actually did something important. He'd have to remember that. He struggled to open his eyes; they seemed to be very resistant to it. What greeted his vision almost made him believe he was having a nightmare. No, the pain in his head was definitely real. So was the pain in his joints…

The girl was sitting in his room, reading.

Just sitting there.

She looked up and saw him awake, and smiled. "Hello Akito-sama."

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Mahiru looked up to see that Akito had finally woken up. He had looked so sweet while sleeping, kind of angelic. Every time she had looked up, however, she always saw his falling down yukata, almost completely off his upper body, exposing his pale, too-thin shoulders. Every time she saw this, she felt a pang of pity rip through her heart so hard that she felt it in her back. She mused on the wording of this for a while, realizing how utterly ridiculous it would sound if someone had written it, say in a story **(hee hee)**. She kept her smile on her face, even while her mind was racing with '_This is dumb. This is stupid. Why am I doing this? What's wrong with me? He's gonna be mad. This is dumb. This is stupid. Why am I doing this…?'_ "So, how are you?" '_LAME_' mind berated her.

He was still staring at her. Not glaring, just staring. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He tried again, this time managing a "Wh… what are _you_ doing _here_?"

"Well, I live here." Her smile was starting to hurt her face. "Well, not here _here_, but here in this house."

"I… I meant in my room…" Now he was just full-fledged gawking at her.

"Um, well, I wanted to see you, but you were asleep. So I'm sitting here, in this chair, and reading about the Meiji Revolution, 'Or restoration. New Chapter: The Meiji Program of Economic Development. The Meiji Era leaders sought economic development as a concodiment of strengthening Japan, but circumstances allowed them very little policy choice. The first problem to be solved was financing the national government…'" she cut off, feeling foolish, and looked at him. he was still lying there, staring at her. "So…" 

"So."

Coming from him, that sounded like an accusation that she didn't have anything to talk about. "I… was thinking about taking up dance again. If that's alright with you." She added hastily, remembering Hatori's lecture 'Asking Akito's Permission: How it Can Help _You_."

"Fine." Akito got control of himself, finally narrowing his eyes at the intruder. "Go ahead. Is that it?"

Mahiru looked away, noticing the untouched food tray which was still next to his bed. "Akito-sama, you know, you really should eat."

Akito followed her gaze and wrinkled his nose again as he saw the food. He snapped his head back to Mahiru when he heard her giggle. "What!" he demanded.

"N…nothing." Mahiru tried to keep from giggling again. He looked so… _cute_ when he squinched his nose up like that.

Akito was dissatisfied with the explanation, but he allowed it. She really was intriguing. He shifted a little bit so that he was sitting up a bit more, propped up on pillows. He watched her as she flipped her hair and went back to her textbook, biting her lip. The smell of her shampoo hit him in a small gust of wind. She smelled nice…

Akito closed his eyes, refusing to look at her, the girl who was causing his traitorous thoughts. He closed them and sank back into his pillows, concentrating instead on ignoring the pain.

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Mahiru flipped through her textbook, bored. History really annoyed her. She understood that the whole 'not making the same mistakes' thing, but honestly, only world-conquerors really needed that. Mahiru already knew not to have naval battles in the English Channel, and to not try to attack Russia in winter. If she ever _did_ feel the need to follow in Napoleon's footsteps, she would be set. She closed her textbook with a booming sound, and then looked guiltily at Akito. He was still sleeping. She sighed, afraid she might have woken him up. Hesitantly, she reached her hand out to touch one of his pillows, and then pressed it harder, startled when her entire hand almost sunk in completely. The pillows were soft beyond anything she had ever felt. She looked at Akito's sickly frame, the pillows making kind of a fort around him. Slowly, she took her hand away from the pillow and touched his hand with one finger. It was cold. She looked around, making sure there was no one else around, and then gingerly stuck her small hand into his thin one, lending it her warmth. She massaged it gently with her thumb, wondering at its softness, and jumping a little when his hand tightened slightly around hers.

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Akito awoke to find Mahiru in his room for the second time. She was reading something, a different book than she had been last time. He turned his head away, and then moaned at the pain that slight movement had caused, letting his head fall back into it's former position. She was looking at him again.

"Good…" she checked her watch "Early night…I guess, Akito-sama!"

He had the urge to snort.

"Hey, Akito-sama, guess what I'm going to do."

"Dance. You already told me that."

"Nope. Well, yeah. But something else too. Guess."

He ignored her.

"What?" she mimicked his deeper voice, then answered herself in a normal tone "Well, Akito-sama, I'm going to figure out how to break the curse."

"And what makes you think you're going to be able to do that?" Akito heard himself attacking her. Always, they built up false hope for him. Kana, Tohru… and they never came through. He always thought that one of them _just might_ be able to do it, but it was never the case.

"Because I want to." Suddenly her book went sliding off of her lap, and she leaned down to get it. Akito felt a tugging on his right hand, and then noticed with horror that she had been holding it. He tried to pull it away, but she had him in a steel grip.

"Let go of me." He said tightly though his teeth. She looked up at him.

"Oh, sorry, you're hand was just really cold." She smiled, but didn't let go of his hand.

He hated it when she smiled at him. It made her harder for him to hate her, seeing her as a person. Not a person that he had full control over, as he had grown to used to, but just a random person. He even had control over Honda, but suddenly, with this girl, he was just a man. A man lying on a bed. "Get out." He ordered her.

Suddenly there was a timid knock on the door, and a servant nervously let herself in, bearing dinner. Her face fell a little bit when she saw that Akito hadn't touched his lunch, and replaced the cold tray for the hot one, but transferring the untaken pills to the ones on the dinner tray, creating a veritable pill mountain. "Um… Hatori-san insists that all of these are taken, Sohma-sama. He says it'll be bad for your health if you don't."

"Shut up" he hissed at the woman, who jumped and almost ran.

"B…But Hatori-san says I have to make sure you take them…" her trembling voice cut off at the look Akito was giving her.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he takes them." Mahiru chimed in, smiling kindly at the poor woman, and then glaring at Akito.

"Th… thank you." The woman gave her a timid smile, and then hurried out the door.

"Akito… you really should take the pills, and _eat_."

"_What_ did you just call me!" he demanded. Mahiru ignored him and carefully unwound her hand from his, standing up and going to the other side of the bed, where the food lay on a tray on his night-stand. Rice and a nutritious soup. Normal fare for the ill. She sighed, wondering how many times he had had that _exact same_ meal.

"Wha-" Akito was cut off in a fit of coughing. She turned and watched him, and then to the food on the tray.

"You really should eat this." She repeated.

"You should really go die." She expected that kind of a response as a joke from Takara, Rini, or Hisa. Apparently Akito was serious.

She frowned at him "Now that was rude. Especially to someone who's trying to help you."

"I'm sure you are. You'll help me all the way to the grave." Akito let his normal tirade take over, almost with relief.

"You seem to not need any help in that department. I've _seen_ you fighting this illness. You don't want to die. Admit it."

Mahiru had the feeling that if he could, he would have growled at her then.

"So… while wanting to not die, you're just gonna starve yourself, _and _not take your medicine. That makes sense."

"What _the hell_ are you doing!" Mahiru had picked up the pill dish and the juice, turning to him with a severe look on her face.

"You're going to take these."

"Make me." He challenged, definitely angry now. "Get the hell out."

"Pick one." Mahiru stood over him in a way she hoped was imposing. He glared right back at her, until he broke off to cough. Mahiru waited for him to finish, then began to get worried as he didn't, and instead of stopping, the coughs seem to get more violent. Still lying on his back, the God was spasming, trying desperately to get a lungful of air before it was pushed out again.

Unsure what to do, Mahiru sat carefully on the side of the bed, and tried to prop him up so that he was at least sitting. She couldn't do it with the pillows on his bed, however, and didn't know where the extras were, so instead she slid behind Akito and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and bringing his arm around hers, propping him up like that. With her other hand, she rubbed his back, trying to comfort him as best as she could. Slowly, the coughs subsided, and left Akito leaning heavily against her, his head hanging, gasping for breath. Mahiru kept rubbing his back, and it seemed to relax him a little bit. She took her arm away from his shoulders, letting him place all his weight on her with his arm, which was still draped around her. She pushed his hair, now slick with sweat, away from his face. She was scared, if not surprised, so see blood slowly dripping from his mouth as he tried to breathe. She reached over to the night table, trying to keep her body in the exact same place, taking a napkin off of the food tray, and tenderly wiped the blood off his face, and then held the napkin under his bottom lip, catching the blood as it trickled out of his mouth.

Slowly, Akito's head came to rest on her chest, coughing fits coming a few more times, though none with the intensity of the first. Through all of them Mahiru kept her hold on him, propping him up and whispering sweet nothings in his ear to comfort him, rubbing his back and kissing his forehead. Hatori came in from a long day of 'treating' Ayame, who was playing sick and refused to let 'his darling Ha'ri ' leave, to find Akito curled up against Mahiru, clinging to the front of her shirt, his head buried in her chest, a few silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Mahiru was desperately trying to get him to drink the juice that had come with his dinner, catching what he couldn't swallow with a now-drenched napkin.

Hatori stopped in his tracks in the doorway. Mahiru heard his gasp and turned, careful not to disturb the God. "Omigosh, Hatori, I'm _so_ happy to see you. He didn't take any of his pills, and we were arguing about it, and he started coughing, and then there was blood, and he hasn't said anything…" Hatori strode quickly to her side and untangled them, laying the nearly unconscious Akito down on his bed, although he didn't seem to be in any hurry to let go of Mahiru.

Mahiru sat in the armchair, silently watching, her homework forgotten, as Hatori checked Akito. "He's burning up…" she heard the doctor mumbled to himself, and looked down to see Akito's face was, in fact, flushed.

"I'm really sorry…" Mahiru hazarded "I didn't know what to do. This always happens! Every single time! Why!" She flopped herself backwards into the chair.

"It's not your fault. This is what happens when he doesn't take his medicine. And for him, a fever is completely normal." Hatori skillfully stuck a needle in the God's wrist, resulting in a small strangled cry which he ignored, but Mahiru almost cried at. "He'll wake up in about an hour. It'll probably be a bad night though. Also, he won't like it that you were here to help him. _I_, however, am eternally grateful for that." He paused in his work to grin at her "We don't want to let him go _just_ yet."

Mahiru looked at Akito "Yeah. Me neither."

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**Yah, a most random chapter, I know. But this is where Mahiru _starts_ falling in love with Akito, so it has to be here. :) Because otherwise my story would be like 'um, hi, cool, yeah, bye.' Which I'm hoping it won't be.**

**So….**

**Review now, and don't comment on how slightly bad the chapter was.**

**Please.**

**I'll bake you a cake.**

**And seriously, please review. :)**

**Did everyone have a fun 6/6/6?**

**I did :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi. Again.**

**If you reviewed, I love you. If you didn't _WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU, I'M ONLY ONE SHY OF FITY!_ But I'm not mad or anything….**

**Did I mention my love of doughnuts?**

**Um… anything in my life that's going on?**

**Funny you should ask (you can skip this part). I have exams, which are SO much fun. My friend Derek asked me out extremely badly, so I realized he was doing it only after I had already said no, kinda rudely, and he almost cried. He's a football player. So not my type. My mom heard me on the phone with my bf Mike and she had a sex talk with me which included how I should 'not be a rabbit'; because rabbits proliferate (have lots of sex and babies. Lots and lots of babies). I think.**

**It was great.**

**So… yeah that's it.**

**Chapter 11, can you believe it?**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

Mahiru had not seen Akito in two days, although she had _heard_ that he was doing fine, even a little bit better.

She verified this when she came home from school and found him sitting in the kitchen with a glass of water.

"Um… Akito-sama, how nice to see you." Mahiru gave him a half-bow.

He nodded curtly in her direction "Mahiru."

"You must be feeling better, to be out here."

Again the nod.

"Well, I'm just going to go now." If Akito had heard her, he didn't give any sign, and she sighed and turned to leave, but then after a moment turned back "Oh, and Akito-sama? I have a ballet audition in tomorrow. I just thought you should know…"

"Who?" he still wasn't looking at her.

"_I_ do, Akito-sama." She wondered if he was having trouble hearing her.

A scowl crossed his face "_Who_ are you auditioning for?"

"Oh," she blushed '_that was dumb…_' "the Transcends."

"…I've heard of them." Akito had a vague memory, probably from childhood, of them.

"Yeah, they're pretty good, I don't know if I'll get in though."

Akito snorted.

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence…" she muttered, then turned and left.

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Mahiru woke up to a yelling from somewhere by her head. She groped in the darkness and only found a wall, and then slowly realized that the sounds were coming _through_ the wall, from Akito's room. She pushed herself up on her elbows groggily. Most of the voices, if not all, were female. The Nurse Brigade. She let herself fall back down onto her pillows, drawing them over her head in an effort to block out the noise. It didn't help. At all. Mahiru groaned and stood, waiting for her world to stop spinning as the blood rushed to her head, and padded unsteadily to the door, walking into it a few times before figuring out how to open it. The light in the hall blinded her for a minute, but then she continued into Akito's room, where all the nurses were yelling at each other.

"Can we keep this down?" as one, the nurses turned to scowl at her. Mahiru didn't recognize any of them. "What's going on?"

"Sohma-sama has a fever" one nurse informed her crisply.

"Yeah, well, what else is new." Mahiru grumbled "Anything else?"

"See, I told you." A nurse rounded on all the others "It's perfectly normal. I know, I've been here longer. Usually Hatori-san just stays with him so he doesn't hurt himself."

"Well Hatori-san's not here now, is he." One of the other nurses retaliated, visually peeved.

"Where'd Hatori go?" Mahiru asked, rubbing the sleep out of one of her eyes.

"Another patient." The peeved nurse told her "And he left _us_ in charge, saying that if anything went _wrong_, we should care for Sohma-sama, not leave him alone to suffer."

"Akito's suffering?" Mahiru couldn't keep up with this conversation. A whimper ended in a gasp answered her questions as all of the newer nurses turned to look at Akito. He was lying on his bed, his face flushed, eyes closed, and twitching in his sleep.

"So, should one of us stay with him?" one of the nurses asked.

"I volunteer anyone but me." The older nurse told them "Hatori-san usually sits there and comforts him. No offense to Sohma-sama" she gave a little bow in his direction "But that's not really on my to-do list."

All the other nurses nodded. "One of us is going to have to do it," said the peeved nurse to the older one "you've been here the longest. You know him the best. You do it."

"I'll do it." Volunteered Mahiru. She was getting the gist of the conversation now and didn't want to leave Akito in the care of people who would do it half-heartedly. "It's fine. He just has a fever, right?"

"A very high one." The peeved nurse was really starting to get on her nerves.

"Okay. Bye." Mahiru ushered the nurses out, and then clicked off the light in the room, waiting for her eyes to adjust again, then going over to the armchair and flopping down there. Every so often Akito would moan or whimper, and he was almost always moving. She put her hand in his again, this time his acceptance of it coming much quicker and stronger, his hand tightening around hers almost instantaneously. She smiled a little and stroked his head. He whimpered. "Sh… it's okay Akito-sa… Akito. It's okay."

He slowly opened his eyes at the sound of her voice. It took what seemed like a century for them to be able to focus on her. Mahiru moved closer that he could see her better, kneeling by the side of his bed. He groaned.

"Why… is it _always you_?"

"Huh?" Mahiru didn't get it.

"You're _always here_ when…" he paused to breath, but Mahiru knew what he meant.

"I dunno, it's just weird, I guess."

He closed his eyes again. Even kneeling by the edge of his bed, Mahiru could feel the heat radiating from his skin. The bed covers were thrown all over the floor, and Akito squirmed around on his bed. Mahiru sat on the edge of his bed for a moment, and then jumped up. It was _soaking_ with his sweat. She frowned. No wonder he was uncomfortable. She cursed the nurses to the depths of hell for leaving him there. Mahiru took her hand from his and quickly went to the kitchen, putting a hand-towel in a bowl and covering it with cold water and ice. She brought it back into Akito's room, setting it on the floor, and put laid his discarded bed-clothes in a stack. She opened the shoji doors half-way to let air into the stifling room.

Walking over to Akito's bed, Mahiru heard him whimpering again. She called his name into his ear, trying to wake him up. His eyes didn't seem to want to open. She grabbed his arm, which was slick with sweat, and shook him gently. Still, he remained unconscious. She shook him harder, "Akito…" she called into his ears. Finally, he opened his eyes, although they remained unfocused and glazed. "Akito, I need you to work with me here." She tried to get him to sit up, and he whimpered, flopping against her like a burning rag doll. She wrapped her arm under his shoulder and slowly helped him stand. To her dismay, he was a good six inches taller than her, which made their positions slightly awkward. Mahiru slowly took a step forward, waiting while he awkwardly shuffled forward a few inches. It took them about five minutes to get to the make-shift mattress she had made with his covers. She lowered him to the ground a few inches from it, and then went to get her bowl full of cold water. She took the towel out and squeezed it until it was just damp, holding it gingerly, her hands freezing. She ran the cold, wet towel over Akito, rinsing off his sweat and cooling him down. He shivered and clung to her. She half-dragged him onto the covers, helping him lie down and rinsing the towel so that she could put it on his forehead, after a moment of thought pillowing his head on her lap. After a few minutes of this, Akito seemed to cool down, his breath coming easier, eyes tightly shut. Mahiru yawned as she played with his damp hair. She wanted to go back to her room and fall asleep, but she didn't want to leave him there. His bed was soaking, so no way was she sleeping there. The chair seemed like a good idea, but she thought she might be _kinda_ uncomfortable, and she wanted to be closer to Akito.

She looked at the sleeping God. He was thin, took up less than half of the blankets, and was over to one side. She could easily fit in next to him, and they wouldn't even touch…

She gently lowered his head, sliding her lap away. He moaned a little, but showed no other signs that he knew what she was doing. She scooted over to what she christened '_Her_ side of the…bed?' she lay down, surprised at its softness, and pillowed her head on her arms. In a few minutes, she was asleep.

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**Hi again. I'm really cool and pretty so you want to make me happy and review. This would make me happy. This in turn will make me write. This in turn will make me post. Haha! This keeps out the flames, you see, because if someone reviews, any review, then I'm very happy, and if you're flaming me you don't want me to write. Haha –headache-- **

**Love to White Alchemist Taya. You make my life!**

**I swear it will get more interesting soon... just think about what they're gonna do when they wake up! **


	12. Chapter 12 kinda

**Very very short chapter. :) I'm just gonna let you think about it.**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Akito woke feeling… content. It took him a few moments to process that emotion. He signed and snuggled closer to the _thing_ that he had his arms wrapped around. It smelled nice, and it was cool compared to his temperature. Part of it was pillowed on his chest, and that was the part that smelled the best. He squeezed it slightly, just to let it know he appreciated it before slipping back into unconsciousness.

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Mahiru was very comfortable. Her head was pillowed on something warm, and she was being hugged. She sighed and went back into her dream world.

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**Oohh, what now? –gasp—bum bum bum bum! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's…you don't know yet because I didn't post it yet!**

**So yeah. Review now :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**:) You're mad jealous.**

**I'm sorry about the last chapter, and how short it was, but if I had added that part to a chapter, then the chapter would have been almost ten pages long before I could find a good place to stop it. Sorry…**

**It also made me feel powerful.**

**So yeah, here's another chapter. Not too long, not too short. The next chapter is gonna be realllllly long, cause otherwise I'd be like, cutting it off in the middle of a sentence. **

**I might be barred from the Regents (a NY state test) because I beat the shit out of some girl who was annoying me. **

**I didn't even do it on school property!**

**Tell me how that's right. It's not. So you know what NY? You can suck my big fat nonexistent dick ASSHOLES.**

**My teacher is mad chill though so she's arguing for me to be able to take it. It was the one test I actually studied for too. So yeah….**

**That's my life.**

**Me: Was that a flame or not? And I update when I do. Get over it, and don't curse at me.**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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The second time that Akito woke he was more aware. It came to him in a rush that it was not _normal_ to be hugging a thing. He opened his eyes and blinked them a few times to clear his vision. He looked at the thing, and then blinked. He looked again. It was the girl, lying on him and cuddling up to his chest. They were lying on his bedspread on the floor in the middle of his room. He looked up at the sound of his door opening, and watched Hatori's face go from vacant to almost horrified. Hatori strode over to them quickly.

"Akito-sama…?" he half whispered.

Akito looked at him blankly "I…don't know."

Hatori bent down and put one arm around Mahiru's shoulders, and the other under her knees, and began lifting her off the God.

"_Leave her._" Akito hissed at the doctor. Hatori's eyes widened, but he complied, and he set Mahiru down again, and back into Akito's arms. The God turned his head away from the doctor "Get me something to drink."

"Y…yes Akito-sama."

As soon as Hatori was out of sight, Akito began to play with Mahiru's hair, running it through his fingers. He brought it up to his nose and breathed in deeply. It smelled good. The girl twitched in her sleep, rolling over slightly so that she was facing him, her cheek on his chest. She moved the rest of her body with her, going up onto her side so that his arms were draped around her waist. She made a small sound, and then relaxed onto him. Akito almost smiled.

Hatori returned with two glasses of orange juice, and tried not to be visually shocked again as he entered the room. Mahiru had shifted positions slightly, so that she was facing Akito on her side, and he was stroking her hair, which was spread out along his chest and shoulders. He carefully walked over to them and set the juice on the floor. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Akito silently shook his head, engrossed in the girl's hair. Hatori took that as his dismissal and left.

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Mahiru yawned slightly. She was trying to hold on to the last shreds of sleep, and so far, she was failing. She snuggled closer to her pillow, nuzzling it. It smelled weird, like perspiration and rubbing alcohol…

She ignored it.

Then, she noticed that her pillow was moving up and down. She tried to time her breathing with it, but it wasn't coming regularly, instead it was in jerking up and down jaggedly.

Then she heard a cough.

Mahiru forced her eyes open to Akito coughing into his hand, the other hand clenching into a fist in her hair, tugging on it.

"Ow…" she whined. He turned to her, his eyes going wide that she was awake before he shuddered, coughing again, and squeezing his eyes shut. Mahiru pried his hand out of her hair and sat up. '_Omigosh… I was sleeping _on his chest!' She scooted farther away from him. He finished coughing and gazed levelly at her.

"Do you want to explain last night?"

Mahiru almost blushed, but took a few deep breaths and kept the color from rising to her face. "Well, you had a very high fever, and the nurses were… not cooperating… so I volunteered to take care of you, _because you were so sick_," she added the last part hastily "but your bed was soaking cause you were sweating, so I made this, and helped you get over here, and you fell asleep, but I was really tired, and didn't want to leave you here by yourself, _because you were so sick_," she added again, the blush fighting its way up "and…I guess I fell asleep. I'm really sorry!"

Akito's gaze faltered a bit. She had stayed with him simply because of his illness. Anger slowly began building up, but the tides broke as the full disappointment of her statement made its way through to him; '_because you were so sick._' "What gave you the right!" he hissed at himself. He then jerked, realizing he had said it aloud.

"I…I sincerely apologize. I didn't mean to." Mahiru hung her head. '_Stupid, stupid! What was I expecting? A vow of everlasting love and gratitude because I stayed with him when he was sick? Why did I even say that! I didn't just stay with him because he was sick… but I can't tell him that. Stupid!'_

'_She thinks I was talking to her'_ Akito realized. He could use that… "What gave you the right!" he repeated "I am GOD! You worship me… obey me…" he couldn't bring himself to say 'love me'. "You do not TOUCH ME…"

Mahiru couldn't help it. She started to cry, slowly at first, but then the tears leaked out of her eyes in huge rivers, splashing onto her knees and the bedclothes, her hands fisting on her knees.

Akito watched her cry, knowing he should feel triumphant and accomplished at her tears, as he always did, but he didn't… instead he felt an emotion he couldn't put a name to. One he only felt when his mother came to 'visit' him when he was sick. A sort of tightening in his stomach, and lightheadedness…

He had heard the Jyunnishi talk about this feeling. Shame.

"Get out." Akito dropped his head so that he didn't have to look at her. The girl jumped up and ran, knocking over the juice. Akito sighed and rolled over. The bed spread smelled like her. He slowly stood and went outside. He sat against the wall and looked out over his garden. The sun was shining, casting a golden glow over the plants, spring finally thawing everything.

Well, not everything.

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**Review now. K thanks. :)**

**I'll love you forever. And we can be really good friends and eat peanut butter**

**Mm… peanut butter.**

**But yeah. I really like reviews, so review now. Or you'll end up like Kristi. Beaten up on the sidewalk :)**

**She really pisses me off.**

**Why am I telling you this? You don't care. Or know her.**

**Oh well.**


	14. Chapter 10975014239847128

**Wuts good?**

**Um… I'm not barred from the Regents after all :) so yeah, I'm happy about that. **

**I like going _to_ bars, though.**

**Yeah that's pretty much it**

**Me: I know, I use my words as I please too, I'm a NEW YORKER, but I don't do it in print to people I don't know. In person is fine, but in print is just rude. I like you though. You think like me :) **

**Okay, did anyone else notice that whenever you do a smiley, Word always changes it to an ugly round smiley? That annoys me. **

**Miori: Um, darling, you reviewed chapter one. There were twelve more chapters :P**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru was in her room, dancing furiously. She had picked the piece she had done for Akito that day as what she was going to perform for her audition. But she seriously doubted that after that morning she would be able to pull off acting as the light-hearted Swanilda, ready to marry her true love, with not an obstacle in sight. She stopped, knowing that her dancing was horrible. She had already signed up, saying she was doing a dance of Swanilda's from Coppélia. It was _not_ appreciated when dancers switched their pieces at the last minute. The panel usually had a description of the dance in front of them, so they could compare what the dancer was doing. Mahiru sunk to her knees. _'What am I going to do? I can't dance this happily _now…_ I feel more like a scorned lover than a bride… Wait, Swanilda _is_ a scorned lover!_' Mahiru stood and immediately started practicing Swanilda's dance from when she found out that Franz had been trying to cheat on her, a dance full of hurt and wounded pride. She pulled it off flawlessly. She figured it would be fine. It was from the same ballet, and she was the same character. She spent the rest of the day perfecting her new piece.

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Haru was in his room when Mahiru burst in, spinning and singing. He jumped up "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" she sang to him "I'm IN!"

"Huh?"

Mahiru stopped spinning. "The Transcends offered me a place. They want me to do solo callbacks for _characters!_ With _solos!_" Mahiru shrieked "That like, NEVER happens!" She pulled Haru to his feet and spun him, laughing.

"Good job, Onee-chan." Haru bear hugged her, and then forced her to do her dance for him.

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Mahiru stood by Akito's door, breathing deeply, and wondering where the girl who had been offered a star position in a _really_ good dance troupe had gone. '_I can't do it._' She turned and walked away. Then she reconsidered and walked back to the door. She walked away again.

Hatori walked into the Main House to find Mahiru, in her pajamas, pacing in front of Akito's door.

"Um… Mah-chan?" She jumped.

"Oh, hey, Haa-san." She looked at Akito's door "I'm trying to go inside."

"How's that working for you?"

Mahiru collapsed to the ground "It's not."

Hatori sat down next to her "The nurses told me what happened last night. They're all fired."

"Good." Mahiru said vehemently. She disliked them. They were all paid, very well, to take care of _one man_, and they wanted to leave him alone, uncomfortable and helpless. She turned to Hatori "Guess what."

"What." Hatori replied automatically.

"The Transcends want me to be a character. With a _name_. And I've got almost no experience in shows, _and_ I was turned down by the Astrals."

Hatori smiled at her "That's great. And you want to tell Akito, but he yelled at you, so you don't want to go in?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. How did you know he yelled at me?"

"He told me."

"Are you serious?" Mahiru had a hard time believing that.

"Yes." Hatori seemed to be telling the truth. "He didn't look well, and I asked him what was wrong, and if it had anything to do with that morning, and he said yes."

"What?" Now Mahiru was confused.

"I think he felt bad for whatever he said to you. I know Akito's symptoms, and he really only gets like he was after you left when his _mother_ visits."

Mahiru got the feeling that Hatori didn't like Mrs. Akito Sohma's Mom. "So, you think it would be fine if I went in and talked to him?" Mahiru hazarded.

"Yes, I do." Hatori smiled. "Most people don't go in there unless they're forced. You, Shigure and I are really the only ones who go in and talk to him of our own free wills."

"Well, don't you go because you're his doctor?"

Hatori looked at Akito's closed door "Well, there's that. But also… I don't know."

"Yeah, he's God."

"And Shigure goes because he likes screwing with people. But you… you just do. You're not even called to him." Hatori stood. "If you're going to go in, do it now. I don't want him up all night."

"Yes, Doctor-sama." Mahiru rose and saluted him and confidently marched to the door. And then meekly knocked on it.

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Akito heard the knocking on his door and ignored it. He struggled out of the new, clean blankets on his bed. He was burning. He buried his face in a pillow, trying to soak up its coolness. All he succeeded in doing was making the pillow hot. He groaned and rolled off of it, burying his face in all his pillows in turn, until the last one had soaked up his heat and he lay on his bed sweltering. He felt a hand on his forehead and brushed it away, meaning to tell Hatori to leave, but no sound came out when he opened his mouth. He turned away from the hand and tried to go back to sleep. Apparently the hand didn't like that. It replaced itself on his forehead. It was cold. He allowed it to remain there. It brushed his hair back so it didn't tickle his closed eyelids. Slowly the hand began to heat up, and when it was the same temperature as him he struggled out from under it again. He felt his bed sink slightly as Hatori sat on the side of his bed. Akito was beginning to get irritated. Why didn't the doctor take a hint? He turned over and forced his eyes open, intent on telling the Dragon off. The words died in his throat. It wasn't the doctor.

It was the girl.

She was perched nervously on the edge of his bed, one hand nervously fixing her tank top, with the other smoothing her sleep pants where she had rolled the waist band down. Akito was distracted by the fabric. It was sleek and shiny, and caught the light coming from his antique oriental lamp. He kind of liked that lamp. That's why it was still there after four weeks.

The girl caught his eye and gave him a shaky smile. "Good evening, Sohma-sama." She looked at him for a second more, then at his bed, and jumped up, blushing furiously. "Sorry. Again. I… sorry." '_LAME LAME LAME.'_ She took a few deep breaths. "For right now and… you know… last night." She bowed. "Sorry." She shivered and hugged herself. It was freezing in his room.

Akito watched the girl. She was _cold_. She didn't feel the infernal heat. Well, then, they made a good pair. "Go get that book." He ordered her.

"Huh?" She looked confused.

"The one you're reading." He annunciated.

"…Alright." Mahiru turned and walked out, thoroughly confused. She saw Hatori in the hall. "It's freezing in there." She informed him.

Hatori signed and ran one hand through his hair. "Akito doesn't like having a fever sweated out of him. And you just _can't_ convince him that he should bundle up when he's sick. So he insists on trying to cool off by taking cold baths and leaving his windows and doors open." Mahiru ducked into her room and came out with a novel she was reading for school. "What are you doing?"

"He said to get my book."

"…Why?" Hatori was just as confused as she was.

"I dunno. He just told me to." Mahiru shrugged, then darted into her room and came back out holding her teddy bear. He was almost completely flat, with mismatched eyes, no nose, and many darns and seams, all in different colored thread. One of his legs was noticeably shorter than the other.

"Nice bear." Hatori smirked.

"Thanks. I call him Mr. Perfect. Or Pear for short." She cuddled him. Then she looked angry "Hey, you were being sarcastic! Where's your childhood keepsake and thing you love more than anything else, huh!"

"…that made no sense." Hatori informed her "And you'd better get in there." He nodded to Akito's door. "Before he gets mad." Mahiru turned to go, then spun quickly and shoved her bear in Hatori's face.

"HAHA YOU'VE BEEN PEAR KISSED!" She dashed into Akito's room.

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**Hopefully you all will remember where this ends when I post the next chapter, because otherwise it will make no sense. It should directly go this chapter, ----- thing, and then next chapter straight into it, but I can't post all that because otherwise I would have to write faster. The next twenty pages or so were all written as one chapter so bear with me for a while. Um… Yeah.**

**Review now :)**

**Oh btw Kristi's fine, she just has a mild concussion or something. And her face looks like she was run over with a RV.**

**That bitch annoys me.**

**Oh, also the rating is gonna go up a few chapters in the future, so if you're like... I'm gonna say 12 or under, buh-bye. But I'll leave that up to personal judgment.**

**Um… if you don't own Decemberunderground yet, I suggest you go buy it. The Killing Lights and Prelude 12/21 are amazing. YAY A.F.I.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Heylo! Okay, this is a kind of weird, OOC chapter. Well, it's just… I dunno. Weird. **

**Me: I don't like the beginning of Kill Caustic. You're all spaced out from Prelude 12/21 then suddenly –REALLY LOUD GUITAR--. I like it once you get like 20 seconds into the song. I love the video to Miss Murder, though. Oh, at the end of Affliction, when they have like two minutes of weird random tunes… that's weird. **

**Um… sorry it took so long to update. My sister has been playing with my computer and installed this firewall ad blocker thing so that I can only go on like, four websites. She's like 'oh, it makes you so saffee' and I'm like 'yeah, just like my foot in your ass makes me safe'. So apparently I have to like add every website I want to go to onto a list and it really annoys me.**

**Ooh, my hair is a REALLY great shade of blue. I love it. It's like aquamariney…ish… the underside of it is black**

**I'm happy :)**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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He watched her enter his room, shutting the door behind her. In one hand she held the book, and in the other she held a _thing_. He looked at it distastefully until she came closer and he saw that it was a patched, threadbare teddy bear.

Mahiru saw him staring and held out her bear so he could get a better look "Meet Mr. Perfect. Or Pear. Or Pear Bear. He was a present from my mom before she died." She squeezed it to her chest and plopped into the armchair, balling herself up against the cold. "It's freezing in here."

Akito stared at the ceiling. "I'm burning."

"Yeah, but if you don't bundle up you're gonna get sicker." '_I think… isn't that what Hatori said?_'

Akito gave her a dirty look. She shrugged and began to read, and after about fifteen minutes gave up.

"I'm seriously freezing to death in here! Can I close the windows?"

"No!" Akito snapped.

"At least the shoji doors then?" When he didn't answer right away, Mahiru jumped up and slammed the doors shut. She then dropped back into the chair, still freezing. Akito rolled over on his bed until he was lying on his side, facing her, and only about a foot away.

He held out one hand. Mahiru caught herself from looking around to see who he was reaching for, and hesitantly put her hand in his. She jumped slightly. Akito hadn't been joking, he was _burning_. It felt nice after the freezing room, but she was almost afraid that her bones were going to crack.

After she got used to the heat, she came to like the warmth. The rest of her body felt even colder, though. She slid off the chair and kneeled by the side of Akito's bed. He still had one of her hands in his grasp, and he was holding it in both of his, and he looked to be sleeping.

Mahiru cautiously placed her other hand on his cheek. His eyes flew open for a second and then drooped again. Mahiru sighed.

"You're really warm."

He grunted.

"I'm really cold…"

"Then get a blanket." Mahiru stood and gently took her hands back. Akito groaned and curled up into a tiny ball. She started gathering the blankets from his bed, remaking it. She tucked Akito in. He opened his eyes and glared at her furiously, trying to push them off. Mahiru held them on with one hand. "Stop it." He commanded.

Mahiru ignored him. "But I'm still cold…" she mused to herself. She looked down at him, still struggling against the blankets "I could always leave."

"Witch." He spat.

"Alright." Mahiru grabbed her teddy bear and her book and started for the door. She turned around to see Akito throwing off the blankets. She went back to tuck him in again. "Keep them on." she told him sternly.

"No." he said, his command voice better. '_Well, he's had more practice…'_ Mahiru mused to herself.

"Yes." '_Wait, why do I care again?_' Mahiru turned to leave again, and then resignedly turned around '_Ugh… I do care. And I know why. _ Ew' She pulled the blankets around him again.

"Get OUT!" Akito fought her until she smothered him in blankets. He was able to get one hand out and grabbed her arm. She took his hand in both of hers. He tried to tug it away from her "Let go." He snarled.

"Nope. Has that ever worked?" She smiled at him.

"You _have_ to obey me." Akito growled at her.

"No. I don't. You're not my God. You can kick me out, and order my memories erased. I would be unhappy, but I would obey you then, because it's your house, and you're family." She sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand carefully but firmly, making sure he couldn't yank it away "I would be sad to forget you, Sohma-sama." She was fascinated by the translucent paleness of the skin of his face.

"…_what are you doing?_" Mahiru jumped. She had been stroking his cheek.

"Uh, sorry." She stood up, releasing her concrete grip on his hand. She was surprised when he didn't let go. She kneeled by the edge of his bed. He turned away from her, bringing her hand with him. Mahiru found herself in a very awkward position, half-lying across Akito's bed, one arm wrapped around him strangely. She felt him shudder, his breathing irregular.

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Akito held on to her hand as though his life depended on it. It still held wisps of the coolness he lacked. He was _burning_. Why didn't she understand that! He curled up tighter. Oh, God, it _hurt…_

He was supposed to be powerful. He was supposed to be strong.

But it hurt too much.

He shuddered again, desperately trying to breath. For some reason he felt that the air was escaping before it entered his lungs. He gasped, afraid of suffocation.

"Um… Aki- Sohma-sama?" The girl. He squeezed her hand. "This is… kind of uncomfortable. Could you… I dunno."

He squeezed her hand again and then flung it away from him. '_That's right. Just leave. Like all the rest of them._' He turned his face into the mattress '_Don't go…Please stay._' He begged her silently.

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The cold room made it feel as though Mahiru's hand had been turned inside out. She shook it to get rid of the feeling. She tried to stand, but she was too comfortable. She was almost warm lying on the bed. She curled up on it and yawned. It was late. She'd already missed one day of school. She shouldn't miss another. Again she tried to get up, but sunk back into the bed. She cursed whatever extremely amazing material Akito's mattress was made out of. She reached over and took Pear off of the chair he had been sitting on and hugged him. Akito breathed heavily behind her, making little gasping noises and shaking. She put a hand on his too thin shoulder.

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'_She didn't leave_…' Akito noticed with faint surprise. He rolled over to face her. He could feel the coolness rolling off of her skin.

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Mahiru gazed at Akito. He had turned around to face her, looking at her for a few minutes before his eyes closed. She didn't think he was asleep, but he definitely wasn't all there. "Do you want me to stay?" she whispered to him.

She was about to try again, thinking he hadn't heard her, when he nodded slowly.

She smiled a little "You yelled at me for staying before."

Akito sighed and shuddered, pushing against the blankets. She grabbed his wrists to stop him. He relaxed into her inelegant embrace. He snuggled closer to her.

"Um…Sohma-sama?" Mahiru was sure he was going to be mad when he woke up.

"What?" he muttered.

"Are you going to be mad later?"

He shook his head, pressing against her. "You're cold…" he observed sleepily.

"Yeah. I know." He pressed his forehead onto her shoulder, scalding her. "Ow" Mahiru bit her lip. If it was this painful for her, she imagined how it was for him.

Long after Akito passed out, Mahiru lay awake, stroking his hair and rubbing his back. Every time he showed discomfort, she would hush him. Slowly, his temperature went down during the night. Finally, she drifted off.

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Akito woke with the girl for the second time. He was cradled in her arms, one of her hands resting on his forehead. She had stayed. All night, even after he was asleep. He smiled to himself, and then coughed.

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Mahiru was again awakened by Akito's coughing. His head was pillowed on her stomach with one of her arms around his middle, and the other resting on his head. Slowly the coughs subsided and left him gasping for breath. She unconsciously stroked his cheek. Akito looked up at her. She met his gaze levelly, but didn't stop caressing him.

Akito looked away "Thank you." His voice was rough and breathless. He coughed again.

"You're welcome." Mahiru murmured, pressing her lips momentarily against his forehead in a soft kiss. His head wasn't as hot, but it was still way warmer than was normal. She then froze '_Holy shit. I didn't just do that. He's _awake._ Holy shit…_' she forced herself to breathe normally. She had the urge to smack herself.

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Akito felt her stiffen. The Jyuunishi did that when they accidentally told him something. Usually something they didn't want him to know. Like they were in _love_. He wanted to laugh whenever one of them told him they were in love. Love. Like it even existed. Akito wanted to snort. For some reason, though, he felt himself unable to scoff at the notion as he had before. The idea of wanting to be with someone, to stay with them. Feeling that way about someone was one of Akito's main rules. It was a BIG no-no.

But he wanted to be with her.

He wanted to stay with her.

And he wanted her to feel that way about him, too. He knew he could order her to stay with him. If she disobeyed, he could threaten to kick her out. Akito knew she had nowhere to go. But he wanted her to come to him of her own free will. He didn't want to have to call her like he did the Jyuunishi. He would even settle for the psychotic love his mother had shared with his father, her want of him consuming her until she was unable to even think kindly of her only son. Her _dying_ only son. Akito shuddered. Why would any girl want to stay with him? Out of pity or fear. No one would ever truly love him.

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Mahiru wanted to spit it out. She had an insane urge. She just wanted to stand up and say 'AKITO I LOVE YOU'. She had no idea where the thought came from. It was just a random urge. Like when she'd had her first kiss, and wanted to tell her mother _so badly_. Her mother who then grounded her for three months… She fought the words down.

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Akito decided he didn't care if she didn't love him back. He could fool himself. He was going to die soon anyway. He strained to raise himself on his elbows so he wasn't leaning on her. He looked at her fully. She looked confused with the intensity of his gaze, and he smirked sadly to himself. He reached one hand out and grasped her chin, forcing her face forward until their lips met. He crushed his mouth against hers until he had to let her go, unable to hold his position, and he flopped back onto the mattress, breathing heavily.

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**Ohh, what now? Anyway… remember EXACTLY where this chapter ended for the last one. Lalalala….. **

**I told you it was a kind of bad chapter… but it had to happen. Akito's so hard to write! TT.TT**

**Review now! **


	16. Chapter 16

**The most awfulest thing just happened to me.**

**Well, three most awfulest**

**1) I have writer's block**

**2) Fanfiction hasn't let me on since Monday :( **

**3) My mother doesn't like my tattoo**

**T.T**

**She wants me to get it removed. IT WAS PAINFUL TO GET IT ON IN THE FIRST PLACE! NEVER AGAIN! I _really_ hate needles.  
**

**T.T**

**Me: Um... here's an idea. WRITE YOUR OWN STORY. That way _you_ can control when it's updated, so you don't have to try to do mine. I couldn't get onto Fanfiction. Gee, sorry.**

**If you're going to stop reading, just stop. What's the point in telling me? Very few people review for more than two chapters a row. Which i find kind of weird... like they only liked Chapter 7...**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru blinked.

Akito had just kissed her.

He had grabbed her chin, and kissed her.

She thought back, alarmed, wondering if she had blurted something out. She didn't _remember_ saying anything.

'_Maybe he kissed me because he wanted to…_' her mind mused idly. She tried to dismiss it immediately, but the idea kept coming back.

What if he actually did?

Mahiru looked down at the man lying, eyes closed, next to her.

Well, if he could kiss her, she could kiss him.

Right?

Mahiru reached down and stroked his cheek. His eyes shot open. Mahiru bent over, rolling so she was in a more comfortable position, and timidly placed a light kiss on his cheek. '_Wimp!_' her mind berated her. She trailed her lips over to his mouth. She gave him a chaste kiss, then when her mind refused to shut up opened his surprisingly pliant lips with her own and gently deepened the kiss.

-------

Hatori didn't even bother knocking. He simply walked into Akito's room, his black bag in tow. He was about to call the God's name when the words were shoved back down his throat. He gasped for air.

Mahiru and Akito were _making out,_ lying on their sides and facing each other on Akito's bed.

Mahiru had her arms wrapped around the God's shoulders, idly rubbing the back of his neck with her thumbs. One of Akito's arms circled Mahiru's waist tightly, while the other was stroking her hair.

Hatori covered his face with his bag, and then peeked out again.

Oh God, it was still there. He wasn't dreaming.

Hatori tiptoed out of the room and shut the door without a sound, and then went outside for a cigarette or twelve.

-------

Mahiru was terrified when Akito turned away from her, but then almost sighed when he began to cough. She sat up and pulled his head into her lap, leaning against the headboard of his bed, half-lying down on all the pillows piled there. He continued to cough, and Mahiru began to get worried. She pulled Akito up higher, so he was in a sitting position, but he was still coughing. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, silently lending him her strength. Suddenly he spasmed, shrugged her off, and in one quick motion leaned over the side of the bed. Mahiru cringed when she first heard the retching, but hastily recovered and rubbed his back. Hatori burst through the door as though he had been sitting there listening. He gave Mahiru a genuine grin, and then turned his attention to the God.

Mahiru didn't want to leave, but got the hint when Hatori ushered her off the bed and shoved her teddy bear and book into her arms. She touched Akito's hand and then turned to walk away, but after a second thought lay Pear Bear next to the unconscious God. She gave Hatori a smile and then left.

Realizing how late she was, Mahiru yelped and got into her uniform, running to the school and agreeing to stay for detention if the tardy didn't show up on her report.

-------

Akito came slowly into consciousness, his eyes solidly refusing to open. He felt something on his face, poking uncomfortably into his nostrils. He raised one hand to rip it off, but lacked the strength. He let his arm flop back to his side. Slowly, what he had been doing earlier trickled into his mind. He allowed himself a smile, remembering her tenderness. But where was she?

He opened his mouth to call for her, but was unable to make a sound, his mouth completely dry. He heard his door open, and turned his head slightly towards the sound, forcing his eyes open a crack. His vision was hazy, but he knew the person entering wasn't her. It was the doctor. He let his eyes close again and he sighed faintly. He felt the stethoscope on his skin, and the doctor's skillful hands prodding his stomach and throat, then finally the cold needle sliding into his skin.

Akito slid back into sleep.

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Mahiru walked into the classroom grudgingly, her feet dragging. Two extra hours or a tardy, two of which counted as an absence. The school had been generous, saying she only had two absences, instead of two months of them, because of her mother and brother's deaths. She just wanted to go home. She was tired, she had homework, and she wanted to see Akito. She sighed and flopped down into her chair. She looked around, seeing other students doing their work, and pulled her out too, plunging into it vigorously, so she would have time for…other things… that night.

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Hatori checked Akito's breathing more serious while he was asleep; disturbed by a rattling sound that seemed to accompany each breath, even with the oxygen tube taped to Akito's nose. He went into his office and searched through Akira's records. Hatori often did this, always seeing that Akito's illness was about four or five years ahead of Akira's. Hatori flipped to the very end of Akira's file, when the man was about 28 years old. A few pages from the end, there were the symptoms that Akito was having. Random violent coughing fits, vomiting blood, and a rattle in the lungs. Hatori put down the file and massaged his temples, and then picked up the file again, reading it more carefully, and then flipping backwards a few pages. About two weeks before Akira had died it said he had stopped eating. Hatori sighed, remembering the untouched trays. "Akito… you're killing yourself." He muttered, then stretched and leaned backwards smiling "We're just going to see what affect Mahiru has on you."

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Mahiru jumped up as soon the second her detention time was up, her completed homework already stashed in her bag, and signed out with the sleeping teacher. She dumped her stuff in her locker, no need for it, and rushed to the Main House, getting there in a record five minutes.

"Hellooo…. Haa-san?" She shed her shoes at the door, tossing her light, unneeded coat to the floor. She jogged to his office, finding him poring over reports. She cleared her throat, and then giggled as he jumped and clutched his heart.

"Don't _do_ that." He checked his watch "Where have you been?"

"Detention." Mahiru frowned in distaste "Because I was late."

Hatori motioned for her to sit down. She did, suddenly questioning what he knew. He grinned at her, his posture screaming 'EVERYTHING!' She grinned back, accepting that it wasn't a secret.

"I need you to do something for me."

"Okay…" Mahiru looked at the doctor quizzically.

"I was looking through the previous Head of the family's records. Akira, Akito's father. Akito is having the same problems that Akira had two weeks before he died."

Mahiru stared at Hatori, and then choked when she realized she hadn't been breathing, taking huge breaths "…Are you serious?" she gasped. Hatori looked strangely calm.

"Their illness is not defined in any book, although there seem to be patterns." He held up one hand when her eyes bugged out "This doesn't mean that Akito's going to die in two weeks. I looked further back in the file, and I noticed that it was only happening to Akira when he stopped eating. Akito stopped eating a while ago. I need you to convince him to start again."

"Why me?" Mahiru asked innocently, batting her eyelashes, and then dashed out of the room as Hatori threw his pen at her.

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**Chapter 16, huh? That's quite a large number. So yeah. Okay I'm REALLY sorry about the whole taking more than a week thing, but it was soooo not my fault. I'll update again on Monday because I'm going away today and tomorrow. Visiting my family. **

**They'll totally back me up on the tattoo thing.**

**I hope**

**T.T**

**Needles terrify me.**

**Review now KTB**

**Love Laur**


	17. Chapter 17

**Welcome back to my wonderful world of me. **

**Anyway.**

**Uh… in response to all the questions, my tattoo is REALLY hot. It's a sun and moon; you know all in one… it's really pretty. Right now it kind of really hurts and is all red, but yeah. **

**It's on the right side of my chest, kind of on the top of my right breasticle.**

**My mother is not amused :)**

**Um, yeah. Now we have a new section called Review Responses!**

**White Alchemist Taya: You are so cool. You've been there since Chapter 1 (yeah, cause I'm too sad to name my chapters, hee hee) and you've always supported me. Thank you!**

**slightlyxmarionette-esque: Isn't cheese great! Thanks for the review. BTW I like your user name…**

**KooriKitsune: Sorry about your Dad's choice of profession! Honestly I'm completely terrified of needles, and now my mom's going after my friend who owns the tattoo parlor that did it for me:( I don't think a petition's going to change her mind, but thanks for the idea. I'm using it to get the principal of my school fired :) he's an asswipe. **

**Coffeeluver: ISN'T COFFEE AMAZING! Sorry, just had to :)**

**Kichou: Hey! Thank you for removing a bunch of the pressure. Your review was very deep –ponders-- :)**

**NoCareChakara: Thank you X3 did anyone ever tell you that you're really good for the ego?**

**Amara Corbin: Yay!**

**Nozomuloverilovecrescentmoom: Crescent Moon still rocks. Thanks, you're really cool :)**

**Mystrivin: Thank you! I'll take any compliment I can get from you ;) hopefully your good mood will last during the rest of your reviews of my story!**

**Pinkfloweree: Um… thanks. So's your username.**

**Z-AKA-Andrea: Thank you! I like chocolate. Just for the record, I guess…**

**Stacey: Just discovered the story, did'ja? ;)**

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Mahiru stuck her head into Akito's room, and then walked in quietly. His eyes were closed; Pear Bear was stuck haphazardly under one pillow. She sat softly on the edge of the God's bed, reaching out and pushing the hair away from his eyes, which opened slowly at her touch.

"Hey," She murmured, running her hand awkwardly over his cheek, trying to avoid the oxygen tube still taped to his nose "how are you feeling?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Mahiru stood and poured a glass of water from the pitcher kept constantly by his bed, sitting back down and propping his head in her lap, slowly helping him take a sip. "I want to go outside." He was able to rasp.

Mahiru frowned at him "but Aki-" she cut off, unsure of what to call him.

"Mahiru," his voice said throatily from her lap again "I want to go outside."

She smiled involuntarily "Akito, I don't think that's a good…"

"Mahiru." He interrupted her "_I want to go outside_."

She noticed his hands had made weak fists in the blankets. "Alright. For a little bit. But you have to promise to do something I want to do later." She would make him eat. She smiled.

He glared at her. She worked at freeing him from the oxygen tube, pulling the tape off carefully and affectionately, kissing his cheek where there were red marks when she was done. She watched him warily, his breathing only become a little bit more strained when disconnected from the oxygen.

Akito grabbed her arm and heaved himself into a sitting position. Once at her eyelevel, he leaned forward and kissed her again, unable to manage the force he had used the first time, but Mahiru still felt his authority in the kiss. She smiled slightly and deepened the kiss.

They lost a good five minutes before Akito had to stop for air and a cough. Mahiru stood and offered Akito a hand. He ignored it, instead leaning heavily on the nightstand, taking his time. He stepped slowly away from the table, walking deliberately towards the shoji doors. He didn't indicate that he needed any help, and Mahiru didn't offer any, but she walked a pace behind him, ready to catch him if he fell.

She stepped in front of him when they reached the doors, opening them for him. Akito walked on as though he didn't notice her, then turning onto his porch. He leaned against a wall and slid down it, exhausted and grimacing, until he was sitting. Mahiru plopped down next to him, looking out at his personal garden, which was separated from hers by a wall of hedges. She felt Akito leaning on her slightly, his shoulders heaving with his labored breathing. She took his frail hand in hers.

"I love you." She whispered.

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Akito was having a hard time getting his breath back. He leaned his neck back against the wall, closing his eyes, and feeling the girl take his hand. He didn't fight her. And then he heard her say _it_. No one had said that to him, and meant it, since his father, a man Akito hardly remembered. Shigure said it jokingly while trying to flatter him, but Akito knew better than to believe everything the Dog said. He had _never_ heard it from his mother.

Akito didn't know what to say. Hell, he didn't know what to _do_.

He took a chance and pressed his lips against her forehead. Apparently that was right, because she turned to him, and a smile lit her face. She was beautiful when she smiled. He pulled his hand from hers and felt her cheek, trailing his hand over her mouth, and finished tracing her other cheek before he felt his arm shaking from exertion, unable to hold his hand up any longer. He dropped it back into her lap.

Akito heard steps from inside his room. Immediately he grew angry. Who was intruding! Whoever it was directly disobeying him. No one was allowed in his room without his express permission. He saw the girl- Mahiru, stiffen, feeling his sudden tension, but she still held on to his hand.

What came out of his room was the last thing Akito expected.

His annoyance dissipated, leaving room for the terror and full fledged rage that the sight of his mother always instilled upon him.

Ren looked them both up and down, her distaste showing immediately on her already frown-lined face. Akito gave Mahiru's hand a slight squeeze before dropping it, sitting up straight, fighting to keep his expression indifferent.

"Get out." He ordered, not really expecting her to leave. He wasn't disappointed.

Ren's intrusive gaze probed both of them, Akito dealing with it out of experience, but he felt Mahiru squirming next to him.

"What do you want?" he challenged. She turned her pointed stare solely on him, her beady eyes trying to stare him down.

"Do** not** speak to me that way." his mother spat at him, forcing Mahiru to flinch. Akito didn't bat an eyelid.

"I am the Head of the Family. Not you. No matter what you've convinced yourself." This…_woman_… was the cause of years of misery on his part. He hated the Jyuunishi, with their happy little understanding families. All except the Rat. His mother disliked him almost as much as Ren disliked Akito. Poor little Yuki, abandoned by his mother. Akito hadn't felt so alone when the Rat's mother gave him up. He felt the Rat would understand him. Sadly, that had not been the case, Yuki still believing there was someone besides Akito who wanted him. Anger flared up in Akito again.

"Get out, bitch." He leaned back "You're not worth my time."

"I'm not worth your time." Ren slowly repeated, rolling each syllable off of her forked tongue. "You're not worth _my_ time. Nothing is worth my time. I am exceptional. I have known true love, and _no one_ besides me knows what that feels like since Akira left." Ren spit on the ground inches from her son "You killed him. You, you little feeble piece of shit."

Akito surged to his feet. He loved these moments. Moments when his anger overtook him and the curse allowed him to be strong. There would be repercussions, but he would get over it. He grabbed Ren by her hair "Get. Out." He ordered her again, flinging her to the ground "I banned you from the Main House. Who let you in?" He smirked at his mother's loss for words "You snuck in didn't you. Like a little worm. A worm covered with dirt that nobody wants in the house."

"I'm not one of your animals. You don't scare me." Somehow Ren's words had less of an affect on him when they were said from a good five feet below him.

"My _animals_. And you say _I'm_ cruel to them." Akito drawled. It was good to be God.

"Akira didn't treat them the way you do. He was kind. They loved him. Everybody loved him. THEY HATE YOU FOR KILLING HIM!" Ren screamed, her eyes bulging out of her head "THEY ALL HATE YOU-"

Akito kicked his mother in the stomach to silence her "I would beg to differ." He kicked her again, liking the solid feel of power. He allowed himself a glance at Mahiru, sitting terrified by the wall, looking unsure whether to be concerned about his health or his mother's ribs. She would understand later.

"Akira did it perfectly. He was perfect-" Akito kicked her again, but she plunged on, her voice tense "He loved them. His way is best. Your way is wrong."

Akito sighed. "Yet they still come back. Why is that?" He bent down and grabbed his mother by her hair again, and heaved her to her feet. Idly he wondered where he got the strength for this. Most healthy people couldn't do it. He forced her face up so she was looking at him. "Now get out before I kill you." He let go and took a step back, Ren taking a breath to say something else, but changing her mind when she saw the gleam in Akito's eyes that said he was completely serious. She turned and ran away.

Akito heard another knock on his door. While the curse still allowed him his strength he strode to the door, yanking it open to reveal the Rabbit, quaking when he saw the God standing and looking well. Akito smirked. This was going to be fun.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Okay, I'm doing this in like, five minutes, so forgive my really bad foreword thing.**

**I'm going on a 4th of July (American Independence Day) Road Trip!**

**LOTS OF BEER! WOOOOHOOOO!**

**Underage drinking is BAD. Just for the record and my younger readers.**

**BUT we're bringing my friend's mom, who's the "supervisor" **

**Psh.**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru watched Akito leave. She sat by the wall, stunned, unmoving, until she heard Momiji's voice from Akito's bedroom. She stood and numbly walked into the room, seeing a terrified Momiji and a smiling Akito. She imagined that the expression the Bunny was wearing was identical to the one she had worn herself when Akito had called her in to talk to him for the first time. Well, the first time he was fully awake anyway. A mixture between panic and…well, panic. She cleared her throat, watching both the males start slightly.

"Hey Momiji-kun, I didn't see you at school today." Mahiru tried her best to be normal, given the circumstances. They just stared at her until Mahiru went to give Momiji a hug. There were mixed reactions to that. Momiji relaxed, but Akito's stare turned into a full fledged glare.

'_Okay, I'm guessing he's the jealous type._'

She gave him a smile, trying to calm him. It didn't really work.

"What do you want?" Akito's voice cut through the silence like a knife.

"I…I wanted to talk to you about M…Momo." Mahiru felt Momiji trembling under her arm. She sighed. Momiji had told her about Momo, and Mahiru really felt for him. She knew what it felt like to not be able to hug your sibling, no matter how much you wanted to.

"What about it?" Again, Akito's voice set Mahiru on edge. She fought down the fear growing inside of her. '_It's just Akito… gosh._'

"Her." Mahiru corrected.

His glare intensified.

"Sorry." Mahiru became very interested in a spot on the wall.

"Well…I… can I tell her?" '_Aw, poor Momiji_' Mahiru remembered her friend's rabbit, which bolted at the first thing that spooked it. She knew Momiji was trying his best not to let his animal get the best of him.

"Tell her what?" Akito's voice was slower and softer, but the menace was still evident. Mahiru shuddered.

Momiji looked at the floor "Everything." he said quietly.

Akito smirked and strode closer to the Rabbit, ignoring Mahiru. "Aw… poor bunny missing the rest of his family? Rabbits usually have big families, don't they? But you… you were abandoned. The freak of the litter, natural selection. Your mother didn't accept you, what makes you think your sister will? Has finding a new sister who understands you gone to your head? Well, what do you think _she _knows?"

'_Wait a second, is Akito _dissing_ me?_'

"Do you think her opinion matters?"

'_Okay, I'm guessing he's the _really _jealous type._'

Mahiru was about to open her mouth, letting her annoyance with the God be known, when Momiji burst out "Shut up!"

"Huh?" Mahiru turned to the Rabbit. He was standing, staring at the ground, fists clenched.

"Don't talk about Mah-chan like that!"

Akito looked just as stunned as Mahiru. But as Mahiru felt a rush of affection for the Bunny, Akito looked like he was going to murder someone.

Mahiru decided she wouldn't lose a second little brother "Thank you." She turned to Akito "Seriously. I didn't do anything. He wants your permission for something important to him, so you decide you're going to insult _me_? Where does that make sense?"

Akito's glare faltered.

"Why can't you just support him? My little brother is _dead_, so I can't hug him. But Momo is alive! Momo wants to get to know her brother. She wants to know the truth. What's the harm in telling her? If she gets hurt by it, then it's fixable. You don't seem to have problems erasing anyone's memories."

"Maybe I should erase _yours_." Akito snarled at Mahiru with surprising vehemence.

"Maybe you should." Mahiru countered, although her voice came out more taunting than insulting. Damn all his practice.

"Maybe I will…" Akito's eyes gleamed. Mahiru felt the terror of him she had felt when she first moved in resurface.

Momiji bowed "goodbye" and ran to the door.

"Tell her, everything you think she should know." Akito said, not needing to shout, his voice carrying just fine.

Momiji turned, stunned, but then came to his senses and left before the God had a chance to change his mind.

Mahiru shook her head at the God, at a loss for words. She turned and followed Momiji, stopping at the door, not even bothering to turn around to say "Maybe you should."

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Mahiru walked unsteadily down the hall, and found herself in the kitchen before noticing where she was going. She slid into a chair with a glass of ice water, which she held against her head. "Oh, God." She sighed, unable to think.

Okay, that moment was over.

'_What was he thinking? Why did he turn on me? What did I do? Jerk! What a big, fat, stupid JERK! I didn't do anything! What a fricken psycho. Maybe he really should._'

-------

Akito stood in his room, dumbfounded.

What didn't she understand? She was _his!_ Not the Rabbits! She said she loved him. Maybe she had lied.

For some reason he couldn't bring himself to believe that.

Maybe there was something that _he_ didn't understand. He prayed that the strength would last for a while longer as he went after her.

Akito found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table, an icy water glass pressed against her temple. She was slumped over, looking ready to pass out.

He knew the feeling.

Akito went to the table and sat down next to her. She seemed to not notice him for a few minutes. He could feel his strength slowly ebbing.

"What?" she mumbled.

"Why are you angry?" he asked, annoyed.

She heard the genuineness in his voice and looked at him in surprise "_What is wrong with you?_"

He glared at her. What didn't she understand!

"You just randomly started insulting me! What did that have to do with anything! It really hurt." She finished softly, her gaze dropping from his. "Why?"

"You are mine." He replied simply. Why didn't she realize that?

"Yours how?"

"… You love _me_. Not him. Or anyone else." It really wasn't a difficult concept. His irritation intensified. Now she was just being difficult.

"But I do love him. And I love Haa-san, and Haru nee-san." Akito felt his shock and hurt showing on his face "And I love you too." She added "In different ways, but I love you all."

"You said you loved _me_. You can't love more than one person." Akito countered.

"Who told you that?" She seemed genuinely surprised.

Akito tried to remember, only coming up with one answer "My mother."

"Your mother told you that." She apparently thought the idea was funny. "Well, I've never met your mother, but she sounds like a crock-"

"Yes you have." Akito interrupted her, his anger bleeding into his voice.

"I have? When?" He saw her face scrunch slightly, trying to remember any women she had met from the Sohma family, apparently failing "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Was there something wrong with_ her_?

"When?" She honestly didn't know.

"Just now." He did his best to be patient, but the fury was slowly building.

"Momij-?-oh." He saw her face register her shock "That was your _mother_?"

Akito nodded, holding back the urge to slap her.

"Oh my…"

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**Okay, I won't be back till Wednesday, so have fun without me. I'll know I'll be missed. :)**


	19. Chapter 19 OOohh i feel special

**Haha… sorry about that.**

**So…. Yeah.**

**NoCareChakara: TY! You are amazing.**

**White Alchemist Taya: Wouldn't that be great if Momiji actually _was_ Akito's mother? Well, it would be an interesting twist.**

**Coffeeluver: Oh my! Now you can find out :)**

**XxFallenxX: Thank you! I try. Akito might be a little OOC in this chapter, just cause it's a hard situation for Akito to be in. _I'M SO SORRY!_**

**kuro-chan10307: Maybe in the next chapter. That would be interesting…**

**KooriKitsune: Thank you! I'm hoping things work out too because I hate needles and I'm NOT getting it removed.**

**Kagime and the owl: Ty very much, but I have a question. At the end of the review, you signed it Kagime. Where was the owl? Was it asleep:) (I'm a psycho ignore me)**

**Stacey: Thank you, happy, uh… seventh of July!**

**Alorandi: TY, I like you too. Ren is a bitch, but she kinda interests me. It's kinda like 0.0 oooh Ren!**

**Samgurlalways: Thank you. I will now eat the sweets.**

**Okay, 19th chapter! Woohoo go me! If you're reading this story, PLEASE REVIEW IT! Please!**

**Yeah, that's it. This is kinda a short chapter, but yeah**

**Important Note: Um… Akito might be a little OOC in this chapter, as I explained to XxFallenxX, but yeah. This was really hard to write, and I tried to keep him as IC as I could. So I'm sorry! –bows low—**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru couldn't believe it. That had been his _mother._ That…psycho bitch! What had she _done_ to him to make him believe that? A woman who had no problem spitting at him, and calling him a piece of shit? She remembered the woman's words about Akira. '_His father…_' she realized. Apparently Mrs. Sohma's one person had _not_ been her son. Mahiru couldn't imagine Akito's childhood. Every time she had a cold as a kid, she was convinced she was going to die unless her mom sat with her.

"Akito…" Mahiru couldn't help it. She reached forward and embraced the surprised God. "Oh my gosh. She's _insane_." She felt Akito's arms slowly circling her in return. "There is something completely wrong with her. I love you. No matter what your crazy weirdo of a mother says." She kissed the God's cheek "remember that. The more love you give, the more love you have to give." She grinned fondly "my mom used to say that. The first time she said it was when some girl was annoying me on the playground. My mom told me I should learn to love her. I told her I didn't want to waste it on her. She gave me this really stern look and said 'The more love you give, the more love you have to give. So if you want to love me or your brother more, and make new friends, you will march yourself out there and play with that girl." Mahiru sighed. "Hisa is now one of my best friends **(A/N: Hisa is one of the apartment mates (: see it all adds together)**."

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Akito didn't pretend to understand, but it was fine with him. As long as she loved him. And who said his mother couldn't be wrong? It wouldn't be the first time. Mahiru stood from the table, dumping out her glass of water. She smiled. He loved it when she did that. He made to follow her, but found that the Curse had been re-instating itself while they were talking, and it took a tremendous amount of effort to stand. He cursed under his breath. The girl's hands were fluttering around him, as though she wanted to help. He trapped one of her hands, holding it in his own. That was all the assistance he needed.

Akito walked slowly, concentrating on his balance, trying to ignore the grating pain in his knees. The girl kept his pace, but kept moving her free hand impatiently, as though she could have just picked him up and carried him to bed with it, and he were doing something to keep her from doing so. Once they left the kitchen, he felt the Curse setting in even more. It had not been easy for him to move earlier, and whenever he was freed for a little while it always came back tenfold. He dropped the girl's hand, unable to stay even with her, even when she walked as slow as she could. She was a good two feet in front of him. She turned around as he stopped fully to catch his breath. He leaned against the wall, and she walked over, her hands still fluttering around him.

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Mahiru had no idea what to do. He had been fine a few minutes ago…. She remembered Haru's horror stories about Akito pushing perfectly healthy Sohmas out of windows. She would have to ask Hatori about it later, as the curse didn't seem to be one of Akito's favorite subjects.

Akito pushed away from the wall, only to fall back against it. Mahiru wanted to do _something_. She was just standing there.

Mahiru took a chance and wrapped one arm around his waist, bringing his arm around her shoulders and holding it there. He tried to resist, but Mahiru was in full health, and easily helped him off the wall. She walked slowly, stopping after every small step. Akito took a few steps with her, and then broke away from her, shooting daggers at her with his eyes. Mahiru accepted it, but was ready to help him at the first indication he couldn't make it.

She kept her eyes down, making sure there was nothing that would be able to trip him, but noticing he seemed to be having trouble bending his knees, it taking him a few seconds longer than was normal to complete a single, small step. She paused, waiting for him to catch up.

He seemed to be getting worse the farther they went down the hall, leaning heavily on the wall, his legs barely moving. Mahiru ignored his glares and drew one of his skeletal arms around her shoulders, remembering her promise to Hatori to make him eat.

Mahiru took another step, jerking at Akito's hiss of pain. His frail arm around her shoulders slowly began slipping. She found she didn't have enough hands to help him.

Doing her best to ignore his quiet gasps and groans, Mahiru slowly lowered him to the ground. When he was safely on the ground, she let go, then grabbed for him again when, with nothing to lean on, he almost smacked into the floor. She held his head in her lap.

"We're just gonna wait here until you get a little better, okay?"

He glared at her "No."

"Why not?"

"No, we have to go _now_."

"But…" Mahiru bit her lip. She didn't want to move him.

Akito frowned at her as she bent down to kiss him. Mahiru noticed he was trembling and pulled away. His breath was coming harder…

She understood. The longer they waited, the worse he would get. "Alright…" She gently lifted his head from his lap and scooted away, placing it gently on the floor. She still saw him cringe.

Mahiru helped him up again, not waiting for him to get footing or move on his own, intent on getting him to bed as soon as possible.

Once in his room, Mahiru slowed down, realizing with guilt that she had been dragging him roughly. She helped him lie down in his bed, smiling and putting Pear Bear in the crook of his arm.

"Why did you come after me if you knew you were going to get worse?"

He glowered menacingly at her.

"Fine. Kill yourself. See if I care."

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**See? OOC. But I tried. I'm sorry!**

**Review it now! SHAZAM!**

…**heehee…**

**You think I'm seeexy**

**You want to daaaaaaaate me**

**OMFG POTCII came out today! Omg!**


	20. Chapter 20!

**WOOHOO LOOK AT THAT I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING SOON-ish…**

**Um… 12 reviews! Thank you very much people! I'm cutting out the whole personal response thing for this chapter, because I'm too lazy to write it… heh…**

**There's not really any Akito in this chapter, so sorry, but read it, because it's important to the plot. My plot is kinda simple… ballerina loves weird, bitter, (yet somehow completely alluring and loveable ?) curse guy, but you should still read it, because it's got Haru in it. And because I wrote it. Hee**

**So, here's Chapter 20!**

**Woohoo**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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The next day was the beginning of the weekend, and Mahiru had made plans to go out with her old friends from her apartment, all of who were thrilled by her news about the callbacks with the Transcends. They had a picnic in the park after window shopping.

For some reason Mahiru couldn't bring herself to tell them about Akito. She had left before he was awake, leaving him in Hatori's capable hands. Still, she felt worried.

After she said goodbye to her friends, Mahiru dawdled in town before going home. There she saw Haru.

"Hey Haru-kun." She smiled and went to sit next to him on the bench.

"Hey," said Haru distractedly. He was trying to eat an ice cream cone, which was dripping continuously with the spring really heating up. After he had licked all the drips from around the top of the cone, and taken a huge bite out of the top, he turned to her. "Oh, hey!" he wiped the ice cream from his face and gave her a grin, offering her a lick of the ice cream.

"Did I tell you? I got into the Trans-" she was telling everyone she saw.

"The Transcends, I know. Hey!" Mahiru had taken a huge bite of his ice cream.

"Aw come on, my happiness is worth more than the ice cream." She returned the empty cone to him. He stuck it on her head.

"Anything else new in your life?" Haru relaxed on the bench. Mahiru discarded the cone and twisted her hands.

"Well…"

"Well what?" Haru sensed that there was something she wanted to tell him.

"I'm kind of…"

"Please don't say pregnant or a man."

She smacked him, laughing. "I'm kind of…_ with_ Akito."

Haru stopped trying to push her off the bench, recoiling "What!" His eyes flashed.

"Well, you know, I'm guessing. He's kind of not all that easy to read… but I guess I'm as 'with him' as someone really can be, considering the way he is…"

"_With_ him!" Haru's mood seemed to have taken a huge turn for the worse. Mahiru decided she must be imaging the way his eyes were changing color, becoming darker.

Okay, never mind.

Haru snarled at her and pounded his fist on the bench, which broke. His eyes were definitely darker, almost black. Mahiru jumped backwards, missing a flying piece of wood by inches. Haru slowly stood, turning to her.

"_How could you?_" He started for her.

Mahiru turned and ran all the way home.

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Hatori heard the knocking on his door and called out for the person to enter.

"Hello, Haa-san."

"Hello, Mah-chan. Can I help you? How was your day with your friends?" He sifted through the papers on his desk.

"Can… can I ask you a question?"

"Of course." Hatori looked up at her and started. Her face was bright red, her hair a mess, and she looked thoroughly shaken. "What about?"

Mahiru looked down "Haru."

Oh no.

"Did he go Black on you?" Hatori asked her gently.

"Well, I guess." It looked like she understood the nickname.

"He does that. It's not your fault." Hatori thought for a moment, and then asked "Did you tell him about Akito?"

"…yeah." Mahiru looked upset.

"I'll talk to him. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Alright." Mahiru turned to leave, but then went behind his desk and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Haa-san."

Hatori sat dumbfounded for a moment, but then regained his wits and called after her "If Akito's awake, make sure he eats!"

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**You know what I'm a huge fan of? **

**REVEIWS.**

**They make me so happy :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Ooh… long-ish chapter! Go me! **

**Chapter 21. This story can now legally drink :)**

**Hmm…. What else…**

**Ooh, today I was at my job (I work at a hospital) and I was walking through the emergency room, trying to find someone. I'm not really paying attention, so I run into someone. I'm like 'oh, shit, sorry.' And the person turns around, and….**

**BUMP BUMP BUUUMMPPP!**

**It's this _whore_ _lady_ that I know from my school. She's there with this guy (who I know for a fact is not her husband) who kept calling her 'honey' and she had this splint over her nose. NOSE JOB MUCH! Heh. I was happy.**

**Stacey: I _do_ strive for the best. Heehee ty.**

**Light of Heaven: This chapter is less Akito-less! In know… while I was writing that other chapter I kind of wanted to reach out and slap Haru. **

**Kuro-chan10307: Yes, Haru's very mad… and soon we will learn why… but not now….**

**Coffeeluver: I KNOW RIGHT!**

**Kagime and the owl: OMG I hate it when people puppy-pout me cause then I feel all guilty and do what they want. In your case update… feel special, here's the update. **

**NoCareChakara: I didn't think about the cruelty to benches in my story until you reviewed.**

_**LETS ALL HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE BENCH.**_

**And now it's over.**

**Mystrivin: NO COME BACK! I LIKE YOU! Ice cream is good too…**

**Kida-18: I know. I think Mahiru handles things particularly well…**

**White Alchemist Taya: WE SHALL FIND OUT! Just not now… BUT EVENTUALLY!**

**Aziza Icefire: Um… please do…**

**Amara Corbin: I'm so proud of you! You updated!**

**Ricochet: I can't say your username without thinking of that cartoon Mucha Lucha or some shit like that. RRRIIICCCOOOOCCCHHHETTT!**

**Haeiklo: REVIEW MORE BIOTCH! And I like people who bow :) they make me giggle.**

**Yuka Kitsune: MWAHAHA! You must wait. Why? BECAUSE I CONTROL THIS STORY!**

**PerplexedKiss: I like you. You're very good for the ego. Review more often :)**

**XxFallenxX: Thank you for your review. I like long reviews a lot. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the 'OMG YOU'RE SO HOT I LOVE YOUR STORY', but long reviews are cooler. And I have to say, yours was the coolest.**

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru walked into Akito's room, feeling powerful for not having to knock. She found him lying on his bed, one arm still holding Pear Bear, staring longingly out the window. He greeted her with a nod when she reached his bed, never taking his eyes off the window.

"Wow, I feel special." Mahiru said sarcastically. He didn't react. "Loser." She added.

Still no reaction.

"Oh, by the way, I decided I'm going to go have wild, passionate sex with…Kyo? Yeah, Kyo, the cat. We're going to move to France and open a bakery with the money we make doing exotic dances in the Russian Roulette."

Mahiru gave up. "Hey Akito!" she called into his ear.

"What?" It was the first thing he had said to her.

"What'cha doing?"

"I want to go outside."

"I really don't think that's a good…"

"It's not."

"Well, you seem better." Mahiru walked to the other side of his bed and plopped into the armchair.

Akito smiled grimly "I'm glad I seem that way."

"Well, today I went to a picnic with some of my friends." She wasn't going to tell him about Haru.

He didn't answer, looking past her at the window.

"And now I'm here…"

"Won't Kyo get jealous?"

Okay, maybe she wasn't giving him enough credit.

Mahiru grinned. "So how was your day?"

Wrong question.

Akito didn't answer, instead he scowled, and then turned his head a little to cough into his pillow.

"Hey Akito?" Mahiru mused, and then continued before he could gather enough breath to reply. "Have you ever wanted a pet?"

"I have twelve."

Mahiru frowned. "No, like a real pet. Like a real animal."

"No."

"I've always wanted a bird."

"You would keep a bird in a cage?" Akito looked into her eyes. "And people tell me I'm horrible for keeping tabs on the Jyuunishi."

"Tell me you don't want a pet birdy." Mahiru dropped from the chair and kneeled by the edge of his bed, resting her elbows on it.

"I have one."

"Huh?"

Akito looked out the window "The white one."

Mahiru followed his gaze and saw the bird, sitting on the branch of tree, directly in the line of sight of Akito. "Really?"

"Really. He's tamed." Akito looked up at her. "Go get him."

"How?" Mahiru watched the bird. He was so pretty…

"Go outside and hold out your hand. Be calm." Akito paused to cough again. "When he lands on you, bring him in here."

"Alright." Mahiru stood and walked outside, leaving the shoji doors open behind her. She approached the bird cautiously and held out her hand, crooking her fingers so that the bird would have a place to land "Here birdy birdy birdy." When it actually flew towards her, though, she jumped backwards, resisting the urge to yelp. It took the bird a few minutes to trust her again, finally landing on her hand. Mahiru closed her eyes and cringed, terrified, but dutifully walked back into Akito's room with the bird.

-------

She looked _terrified_. Akito smirked. The bird flew off of her hand, causing her to shriek a little, and alighted upon his outstretched finger, the rest of his hand still on the bed. The bird twittered and nipped his hand fondly. People always said that birds weren't the smartest animals, but Akito begged to differ. The bird was always there, never crying at him or begging him. And it came when he called, when _he_ wanted it. He glanced at the girl.

"When are the callbacks?"

She started, then smiled "Oh, they start tomorrow, right after school. I only have to go in two days. Tomorrow and the day after. Then I'm done and they tell me what I am."

"Rehearsals?" He watched the bird fly back out the window.

"Well, that depends on who I get. If I'm ensemble then for three hours, four days a week, but if I'm a character, it varies, but mostly for four hours pretty much every day. The rehearsals are right after school ends."

At that moment he hated her. It was hard enough for him to get through a sentence without coughing. He glared at her, and then looked out the window again.

-------

Mahiru sighed and sat back down in the arm chair. It was decently comfy. She sighed, and started to doze.

She was rudely awakened by a loud crash, turning quickly and seeing Akito sitting up in bed, livid, one arm outstretched, holding a maid by her throat, the tray of food she had brought into the room spilled across the floor.

Mahiru sighed and stood. Neither the maid nor the God noticed her.

"Get. OUT." Akito spat at the maid, releasing her, letting her crash to the floor.

"That's like your catch phrase, isn't it?" Mahiru went over to the maid and helped her up. "Hi, he's insane. You might want to see Hatori about that." She scowled, taking in the huge black bruise blossoming on the woman's throat. "Can you send someone in with a new tray?"

The bewildered woman nodded and ran out of the room.

"What was that?" the vehemence in Akito's voice cut through her.

"You were attacking a woman who was just doing her job." Mahiru turned and put her hands on her hips, Akito a few inches shorter than her sitting on his bed.

He growled, standing.

She looked at him in amazement. "How…?"

"It's a _Curse_. Not a disease. It's good, and it's bad. And now I'm fine." He started towards her, one hand grasping her hair and forcing her face up to his "_Darling_." He pressed his lips fiercely against hers, pushing her bottom teeth into her lip, which started to bleed. Akito flung her away and lay back down, patting the mattress next to him. "Come here."

Mahiru sat down tentatively as Akito relaxed back into his pillows.

"Why did you help her?" He demanded.

"…" Mahiru wasn't exactly sure how to reply. She already knew from experience that reasoning did no good. She flinched when he raised one hand, but it just rested itself on her cheek.

A second maid interrupted them. She handed Mahiru the tray and quickly mopped up the other spilled one. Clearly terrified, she turned and ran out as fast as she could. Mahiru took the spoon, filled it with rice and soup, and shoved it into Akito's mouth before he had time to do anything. He choked, coughing, but swallowed it in surprise. He glared at her, rage evident in his eyes. Mahiru tried to calm him down.

"Remember yesterday I said we could go outside if you did something I wanted to later?" Akito just glared. "Well, I want you to eat."

She filled the spoon again and held it up to his mouth, waiting for him to open it. He didn't.

"Hatori told me your father _died_ two weeks after he stopped eating."

That got his attention. Akito's mouth hung open slightly, enough for Mahiru to shove the food in. He swallowed.

"What did Hatori tell you about my father?" Akito didn't sound angry… more like sad.

"Um… that he was the previous God." Mahiru didn't know anything else about him, except that, according to Ren, he had governed the Jyuunishi 'correctly.'

Akito turned away from her.

"Was he like your mother?" Mahiru asked sympathetically.

Akito shook his head. "Not at all."

"Oh." That must have been harder. A parent who loved you, and a parent who hated you, and the one that loved you dying.

Mahiru wracked her brain for a way to change the subject "Well, you have to eat."

Akito sat up, took the tray from Mahiru, and then slowly ate all of it.

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**NOW I DISMISS YOU! GO REVIEW!**

**I'm watching you.**

**I know where you live.**


	22. The Chapter About Black Haru: Why?

**HULLO! I'm too tired to really write anything here… so here you go. :)**

**Wait… I do have a little something.**

**HERE COMES THE CHAPTER WHERE YOU LEARN WHY HARU WENT NUTS!**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Mahiru tapped her foot nervously, waiting for the last bell to ring, and then silently begging it not to. Hisa sat on the edge of her desk.

"Callbacks start today, huh?"

Mahiru took a deep breath. "Yeah…" she answered in a small voice.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah."

Hisa patted her head. "You'll be fine, honey. You're the best dancer I know."

"I'm the _only_ dancer you know."

"No, Takara's a dancer."

Mahiru looked up "Exotic doesn't count."

"I do totally count." Takara smiled, holding her books by her stomach, ignorant of the guys ogling her from behind. "Stripping is an art."

Mahiru stuck out her tongue "I thought you quit."

Takara sighed. "I did. Ayame's paying me big money to pose in his catalogue. Apparently he has friends that own shops like his and they all want me too."

"Oh, yes, yes! They _want _you Takara!" Mahiru slapped Hisa to make her shut up.

"Hey, Chicky," Mahiru turned at Rini's famous nickname for her. "What happened to your lip?"

Mahiru gingerly touched the small cut she had hoped was not noticeable. "I… ran into a door."

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'_Waiting rooms need to kill themselves and go die_.' Mahiru decided. She was dressed in her tights and leotard, her hair tucked back into a tight ballet bun. She was warming up.

"Kirihara, Mahiru?" '_Oh, God, why can't my name be something less terrifying?_' Mahiru smiled and nodded at the woman, and then followed her to the call-back room, where she smiled at a whole new table of people looking at her critically. One of the older women at the end of the table made a semi-quiet comment to the young man to her left about the size of Mahiru's thighs.

'_Oh my God._'

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Haru sat at the kitchen table in the Main House, half terrified, and half, well, terrified. He hadn't seen Mahiru since he had gone black on her, but according to Hatori, she had only mentioned it once, right after it had happened. Mahiru hadn't called him, or gone to see him, so he wasn't sure exactly how she felt. He had finally gotten up the courage to go see her, and beg her forgiveness, only to find that she wasn't there. He decided that sitting and waiting was worse than the actual apologizing part, but he still wasn't sure if he could do either.

It had gotten dark, and the ball of dread in Haru's stomach had grown. '_Well, at least I know I never want to be pregnant…_' he tried to joke lamely with himself.

He gulped when he finally heard the door open at 9 p.m., slowly standing as Mahiru walked into the kitchen, dropping her bag and shedding her shoes, sighing heavily and getting herself a glass of juice.

And then she saw him.

Mahiru froze completely, her face losing a few shades of color, her grip on her juice turning vice-like. "H…Hello." She stammered.

Haru felt the ball of dread in his stomach turn into pain. "Mah-chan," he said imploringly.

-------

Haru took a step towards Mahiru, and she involuntarily stepped back. '_Damn it, go hug him or something!_' she yelled at herself. '_He's not going to hurt you!_' Yet mental pictures of Haru breaking the bench and then running after her, snarling, wouldn't leave her mind.

Haru gave her a strained smile and stepped back a few feet, holding up his hands, gesturing that he didn't want to hurt her. Mahiru couldn't bring herself to step forward. If anything, she was ready to bolt.

"Mah-chan…" he said again, scaring her out of her wits. She looked at him. His eyes were a normal color, if full of hurt. He looked down. "I'm sorry." He dropped his hands and clenched them by his sides. Watching him make fists was not good for Mahiru in her present state of mind, and she backed up a few more paces.

"Mah-chan…" He begged, walking towards her "I'm _so sorry_…" the tears that had been threatening in his voice slid down his face. Mahiru continued to back up until she was against a wall, the only ways to run into the refrigerator or at the Ox. Mahiru felt herself panicking. Haru caught up to her, his face soaking, and he dropped to his knees, throwing his arms around her legs, pressing his cheek against them. "I didn't mean it…" he sobbed "Please, _please_ don't be scared of me. Please don't hate me."

Mahiru was frozen against the wall, scared to breathe. After a while she reached down and placed a hand against his shoulder, patting it cautiously. "I don't hate you." She said after a while, slowly kneeling to his level. "I was just… confused."

Haru sat in front of her, the odd tear still dripping off his face. "I was so _mad_."

"It's okay; you don't have to tell me. Let's keep it in the past. We're moving on here." Mahiru replied hastily.

"So mad about Akito… he said that me and Rin couldn't be together. He says that we're not allowed to fall in love." Haru looked at her "And then he finds you and suddenly his rules don't apply to him. He can do whatever he wants, while we're stuck here waiting."

Mahiru gave him a smile "You know what? I'll talk to him. I think I could convince him to let you and Rin be together."

"Are you serious?" Haru's eyes bugged out, but then he shook his head "No. I can't ask you to do that. It's too dangerous."

"He's not the horrible monster you all think he is. He has his off moments, but underneath the whole 'I'm an asshole' thing he's really a good guy."

"He pushed Rin out a _window_."

"Yeah I know. I don't blame him for that though. NO! No! Bad karma!" Mahiru waved her hands around as though brushing it all away "That was mean." She stood, Haru slowly following. She reached her arms around his shoulders and hugged him. "I was really scared when you went Black on me…"

Suddenly a cold voice cut through the kitchen "The Ox did _WHAT_?"

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**Oh what now! Review please :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**CONGRAGULATIONS TO KAGIME AND THE OWL! YOU ARE MY TWO HUNDRETH REVIEWER!**

**WOOOOHOOO!**

**GO YOU!**

**AND YOUR LITTLE OWL, TOO!**

**Just in answer to some of the reviews, not all:**

**NoCareChakara: … --hands over the money-- gee, how did you guess?**

**Akia and Amora: I know. Poor Haru :( HE'S SO CUTE**

**KooriKitsune: I had a furbie once. It was black and yellow. It was possessed. It would never go to sleep, and it would always say 'I SEE YOU'. I don't think furbies were supposed to say that…**

**It was scary.**

**DeadlyDemon17: I don't like Rin. I think she should close her legs and go bathe. Just my opinion ;)**

**Coffee luver: I KNOW TT.TT**

**XxFallenxX: HARU AND MAHIRU! EEEEWWWW! I guess that actually could be a good pairing… but I like Akito better. He's mad sexy.**

**Wannabe Otaku: thank you very much :)**

**Endrika: Um… thank you…? I think. You thought I sucked in the beginning:( You're a very good review writer, thank you. Now do it more often. ;)**

**And now… the moment you've all been waiting for!**

**CHAPTER 23!**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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Akito had heard the girl come in to the Main House, and then gone looking for her when she didn't go to him. He had found her in the kitchen, talking about him to the Ox, apparently defending him. That's when he heard _it_.

Akito glared at the Ox, rage building quickly inside him. Hatsuharu had done something completely inexcusable. He had gone after one of Akito's things. Mahiru was his treasure, not to be broken. Akito was livid.

"You stupid _cow_…" he started for him, every intention of ripping his head off, when he felt a tug at his sleeve.

"Akito, no! He didn't mean to." Akito pushed her out of the way and started for the ox again, who was trapped against a wall. Mahiru jumped in front of him, shielding Hatsuharu "Akito, _please_." She reached out one hand and stroked his cheek. He reached out one hand and slapped hers, then pushed her out of the way again. He slammed his fist into the Ox's stomach, causing him to fall to the ground. Akito bent down and grabbed his hair, forcing his head up. He felt something tackle him from behind, as the girl wrapped her arms tightly around him, pressing her cheek into his shoulder. "Don't." she commanded.

And to his own surprise, he obeyed, sliding his arms around her waist, dropping his face onto her hair, but then raising it and glaring the panting Ox a warning. "Ever again," he mouthed at him as Mahiru led him from the room "And I will kill you." From the expression on his face, Akito knew the Ox understood.

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Mahiru brought Akito back to the door of his room, although once there, he stopped walking. She turned around to look at him. "What?"

"What is your room like?"

Definitely the last question she had been expecting. "Well…it's blue…and I have a bed and a desk and a fireplace and a chair… Akito?" He had walked away from her and further down the hall, opening her door and going inside.

"Um… Akito!"

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Akito liked the room. It was certainly nicer than his. Well, not nicer in the conventional sense, but it _felt_ nicer. It didn't feel smothering, not as confining as his room was. True, it was smaller, but he would rather spend time on the soft blue carpeted _floor_ of her room than stuck in his bed.

He looked around as the girl brushed past him and hastily started gathering things off the floor, shoving them in the closet, and then scrambling to try to make the bed while putting away her underwear. Her shelves were filled with…stuff. Pictures, toys, knick-knacks just sitting there collecting dust. He reached out and touched a tube of glittering nail polish. She had an overstuffed armchair, and he ambled over to it. When he sat, he was surprised to find that the seat cushion sank down considerably, even under his slight weight. She finished shoving her pajamas with green hippos saying 'YOU'RE COOL!' on them under her bed and turned to him, breathless.

"…I like your room." He remarked.

She smiled. "Technically, it's yours."

He smirked and leaned back into the chair. It was squishy…

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Mahiru took Akito dozing in her chair as incentive to tidy up her room more. She made her bed more seriously, and even tried to dust. She ended up almost asphyxiating herself, and decided to leave it for when she _didn't_ have someone with weak lungs in her room. She checked the time. It was late, and she had another callback tomorrow. Akito seemed deeply asleep in the chair. She changed into pajamas, keeping her back to him, just for safety, smiling when Akito began to snore lightly. She climbed into bed and was out like a light.

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Akito woke up slowly, realizing that either his entire room had rearranged itself, or the sun had decided to change its route, just to shine on him in the morning. He grunted and tried to roll away from it, but found himself unable to. Forcing his eyes open, he looked around, only to find himself in an armchair in the girl's room. Feeling something on his head, he reached up, finding a sticky note attached to his forehead, bearing the message '_Hi! You fell asleep here last night, and I didn't want to wake you up before I left. I have a callback today, so I'll be back tonight. Bye! Mahiru._' He frowned, sighing.

There was a crashing outside and Akito slowly stood and shuffled sleepily towards the door, poking his head out to find Hatori banging his head against a wall. "What are you doing?" he demanded. If he killed himself Akito was going to have to get a new doctor….

"AKITO-SAMA!" The Dragon rushed to him and pulled him tightly against his chest. Akito shoved him away.

Hatori blushed and straitened his tie, clearing his throat loudly. "Well, Akito-sama, I couldn't find you this morning, and I thought maybe…" he trailed off and looked at Mahiru's open door. "Um… did you…" Again he cleared his throat, "_Spend the night _with Mah-chan?"

Akito ignored him and hobbled into his room, throwing himself onto his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Akito-sama?"

"No. I did not." Akito cut off the Doctor, and turned away from him.

"Alright." He heard the inevitable tray of food and pills being set down. He groaned. "I'm going to be back later to make sure you've taken _all_ of these. And I mean _all._"

"What!" Akito rolled over quickly. Sure enough, the two big, pink pills were sitting in a little cup all by themselves. "No." He felt the fear rising in his chest. "NO!"

"Akito-sama…" Hatori reached out to touch his shoulder. Akito smacked his hand away.

"Don't touch me." He hissed, "And get _those_ out of my sight."

Hatori sighed. "You need to take them, even if you are unwilling. It is my job to keep you alive."

"Why now?" whispered the God, eyeing the pills with disgust and panic.

"I'm upping some of your other medications. You need to take them to balance everything out." Hatori crossed his arms over his chest.

"I. Am. Completely. Sane." Akito drew his feet up to his chest and rested his head on them, glaring at his doctor.

'_Well, that's certainly a matter of opinion.' _Out loud, he said "Yes, now." Seeing the death glare, Hatori revised himself. "Akito-sama, the side effects of these pills are much better than the effects the other medicine will have on your mind if you don't take them."

"So how about I stop taking medicine." The God countered. He turned and slid off his bed until he was sitting on the floor, separated from the doctor by his mattress.

"Then you won't live very long. Excuse me, Akito-sama." Hatori bowed to the few strands of hair visible from where he was standing, most of the God hidden behind the bed, and left.

Akito heaved himself back onto the bed and dutifully took all the pills. Except the pink ones.

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…**I like chocolate covered raisins. They taste good. Chocolate covered cherries are gross.**


	24. Cheesecake is really good

**I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!**

**Anyway… this is the chapter where we learn about the pink pills. It's also the beginning of the end of the story!**

**Um… I have two possible endings, so if you consider yourself a Fruits Basket smartie pants, and you have an account, put it in your review and I'll message you with my ideas and let you vote or give me your ideas or whatever.**

**Yay me!**

**Um… yeah. **

**It's so fricken hot. Like 106 degrees. I died walking home from work the other day.**

**OH!**

**I was at work, right? I work in a hospital. So all of a sudden I look up and see this group of four sixty year old men in mini skirts, tank tops, and high heels. Two of them had breasts, and one had this really bad wig. I turned to this guy who works with me, Vic, and was like 'wtf?' and he just hid under the desk and laughed.**

**Don't get me wrong, I love gay people (well, nice ones anyway. There's this kid Chris that I… well that's another story. But he's a _baaaadddd_ gay), and if you believe you're a woman, born in a man's body, good for you. But honestly, not even real women dress up that much TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.**

**Although there's this older woman who is always in like silk and jewels. I was like 'Who is she?' to my best friend the Security Guard Alejandro, and he's like 'oh, that's the coroner.' **

**I was like 0.o**

**So I guess the morale of the story is that people are strange sometimes.**

**Coming from the girl with the tattoo, whose hair is purple on top, blue in the middle, and black on the bottom.**

**It took forever to get it that way, but it looks mad cool.**

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There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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"Ugh… only one more." Mahiru dropped her bag heavily in the kitchen, ignoring it and staggering to her room, where she took a quick shower and fell into bed. The Callback had lasted unbearably long, and she had been forced to do a partner dance with a guy who had a huge zit, right between his eyebrows. She had been unable to look away from it, and had spent most of the time trying not to gag. She looked at the clock and groaned. It was almost one in the morning.

She dozed, idly wondering why the owner of the Transcends wanted to keep _himself_ up that late, even if he wanted to torture her.

Mahiru sighed and rolled over, unable to find the source of an annoying beeping in her ear. She really had to get some sleep; she had school in the morning…

She looked up, to find her alarm clock buzzing away. It was almost 7:30, _in the morning_. Mahiru shrieked and raced to find a bra. She was out the door in four minutes, although it didn't keep her from missing half of her first class, and then falling asleep during lunch.

"Today is not my day." She mumbled into her math book during the last five minutes of the final period.

"We've noticed." Takara retorted, not too quietly. She glared at the teacher who turned to look reprovingly at her. "Last callback. Then you'll be home free."

"_Then_ I'll have to go to rehearsals." Mahiru shoved her head deeper into the book. "Sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy…."

"Yeah, she's lost it." Hisa shoved her with her pen. When Mahiru fell out of her desk and curled up on the floor, starting to snore, the teacher snapped.

"EXCUSE ME, LADIES!" He warbled, pointing his ever-so-deadly pointer at them.

"You're excused." Replied Takara.

"Says the stripper." Some guy in the front row hooted.

"To her best customer." Rini retorted. Both the boy and the teacher turned scarlet as the bell rang.

-------

The callback had been considerably shorter than her others. Mahiru dragged herself into the Main House before the sun had even finished setting. She collapsed at the kitchen counter, downing four glasses of water and then stumbling to the bathroom. She abandoned her bag in the kitchen and was about to just go into her room and flop down on the bed when she heard a thump. Turning her head, she realized with a start that she was standing outside of Akito's room. Even more startling, she hadn't seen him in two days. Mahiru rapped on the door as she entered, not waiting for an answer. She found the God sprawled on the floor in front of his shoji doors, Pear Bear held carelessly in his right arm. Mahiru sat down next to him and waited, trying to find what it was that he was staring at so intently. She shifted, clearing her throat. Akito ignored her. Deciding she didn't have time to play 'Let's Ignore Each Other!' Mahiru stood. She felt a tugging on pants and looked down. The God was holding one of her pants-legs firmly, still not looking at her. Mahiru sat down again. "Hi." She said.

He stared intently at the wall.

"So… long time no see."

He ignored her more.

"Okay, yeah, that's kinda my fault. But that was my last callback. Now they tell me what I am, and then I go to rehearsals. We want our ballet to be good." Mahiru had the feeling she was talking to someone who wasn't-all-there. Maybe even a child. She stroked his hair. "Akito?"

He didn't respond.

"Akito?" she asked again, leaning down and speaking directly into his ear. Still no reaction. She poked his shoulder. His body rocked slightly from the force, but otherwise he was un-responsive. He wasn't even staring at the wall anymore, his eyes glazed and unfocused.

"Akito!"

She called his name a few more times before running for Hatori.

-------

"Haa-san!" She found the doctor in his office, sleeping. He jerked awake at her yelling.

"What?" he asked groggily, putting on his glasses hastily.

"There's something wrong with Akito!" Mahiru grabbed his hand and tried to pull him from behind his desk.

"Well, yeah, that's a given." Where had _she_ been for the last few months?

"NO! Well, yeah. But no! It's something different." Mahiru successfully dragged the doctor out of the room and down the hall, into Akito's room, where the God lay, still in his comatose position. Hatori knelt by the God's side, checking his vitals. He turned to Mahiru.

"This is something I can't fix, and it's going to be happening quite often." When Mahiru opened her mouth, he held up a hand for silence. "Let me finish." She obediently closed it. "Akito takes lots of medications, yes?" She nodded. "There's one that I can't _make_ him take. As a Doctor, I can usually override his decision to not take the medicine." Another nod. "But there's one treatment I can't give him without his consent."

"But what-" again Hatori silenced her.

"It's… how do I explain this?" he thought for a moment. "Okay, all the pills he takes helps his body function. But there's simply _so much stuff_ in his system that his brain has problems functioning with all the clutter everywhere. Got it so far?" Mahiru nodded. "So, once every six months or so I try to make him take those." Hatori motioned to the two large, pinkish pills still lying on Akito's night stand. "They balance out his brain function. His mind can't work well while it's being over stimulated and constantly battered by everything we give him, so those kind of protect him."

"And… he won't take them?" Mahiru distractedly stroked the God's hair.

"Right." Hatori looked absentmindedly away. "And since it's not a physical illness, I can't make him do anything."

"And he won't take them _why_?"

Hatori grimaced and stood. "That's another reason I can't force him to take them. They have side effects. Vomiting, abdominal pain, chest pain, excessive bleeding, and shortness of breath… but the list goes on. It's a dangerous drug, but Akito doesn't realize what danger he's in by _not_ taking it, particularly because whenever it's presented to him that means that the effects of his last dose are wearing off. He doesn't think he's acting strangely, he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him mentally, so why should he take a medicine that hurts him?" Hatori leaned down and took the God in his arms as one would a baby, one arm around his shoulders and the other around his knees. "This is what happens periodically when there's too much." Hatori carefully placed his young charge in bed. Mahiru followed with Pear Bear, sticking him next to Akito. She turned to leave. "You can stay if you want." Hatori said. "He'll wake up and wonder how he got in bed."

Mahiru flopped into the armchair. "Anything else I should know?"

Hatori paused at the door. "Well, Akito's going to have some trouble with his short-term memory. He's mentally deteriorating. He should be harmless, but if not, scream. Loudly." He left.

Mahiru sighed and turned her attention back to Akito and jumped slightly. He was sitting up in his bed, staring intently at her.

"Where have _you_ been?" he hissed at her.

"…" Mahiru took a second to get her brain back on track. He couldn't remember things… "Right here."

The God looked at her in confusion.

"How did you get in your bed?" she asked him, testing. He started and shoved the covers away, snatching up Pear. "Exactly…" she leaned back in the chair. Akito turned his attention back to the spot on the wall he had been staring at earlier. "Akito?"

"Hm?" he replied, leaning forward to look at the spot closer.

"What are you looking at?" Mahiru followed his line of sight, only seeing the wooden paneling of the wall.

"See it?" he asked fervently. He swung his legs off his bed, heaving himself to a standing position, using the headboard of his bed as a lever. Mahiru jumped up as he walked unsteadily to the shoji doors, where he collapsed against them, staring straight up.

"…Akito?" She went to him and placed a hand on his thin shoulder. It was trembling. "Akito!"

He spun to face her and grasped the front of her shirt, his hands balling into weak fists. "See it?" he hissed and spun again, Mahiru going with him.

"It's very pretty… wood." She gave up.

Akito sank to his knees and then slid down with a thump until he was lying on the floor. Mahiru had the feeling that he had done the same thing when she had been outside his room, and he had been rational only a few minutes before she had come into his room. She sat next to him. He looked like he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open.

"See it?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Yup." She lied, still unsure what _it_ was.

"Good." He let his eyes close. She shook him awake.

"Get to bed before you fall asleep." She helped him up, but he shoved her away as he staggered to his bed, where he fell down.

"Isn't it beautiful?" he asked her, his eyes still trained on the spot.

"Sure is." She agreed, tucking Pear under his arm.

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**You know what's really good? Chocolate covered cheesecake. I also like carrot cake. For some reason, I like carrot and spice a lot more than vanilla. My favorite cake is pumpkin spice cheesecake.**

**Doesn't that sound yummy?**


End file.
